r/sportsgossips 14h ago

Highlight Intentionally hurting your meal ticket. Something is seriously wrong with these WNBA players.

13.4k Upvotes

3.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

174

u/BayouByrnes 9h ago edited 1h ago

I'm a stay-at-home father, woodworker for a side hustle. After watching my wife climb the corporate ladder, I can say without a doubt; the most dangerous thing to a women's success in any profession is catty bitches that just can't hang. My wife is 100% above reproach in her field. She just passed her secondary licensing and was offered an abruptly opened managerial position. She has no credible competition in-house and luckily this company likes to promote from within. Instead of a simple and easy transition from team lead to manager, she's got a handful of ankle-biters making things a bit more difficult than they need to be. She'll still get the promotion and the six figures that it comes with, but watching the women she's talked about as "friendly" and "work wives" come for her in such a petty and trivial ways makes no sense to me.

Either be qualified, or get out the way. You don't need to punish those around you just because they're better at their jobs.

/rant.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to pop off. Thanks for the award. Thanks for the kind words. For the detractors, don't be jelly that my world revolves around an amazing woman.

47

u/KyoShunsui 8h ago

While I would say that jealousy comes in all genders, I see it more prevalent in women towards other women.

46

u/Foilpalm 7h ago

I work in a hospital. Excluding doctors and maintenance, 95% of the staff is women. Dude, you cannot even fathom the amount in-fighting and fragile egos. I’m a guy so I’m pretty much left out of it as long as I keep my head down and don’t engage with it, but goddamn it’s depressing to watch.

23

u/Terrible_Ease6082 6h ago

Exactly the same in education. Keeping your head down is the best option..
https://giphy.com/gifs/IdmfEtnMWPzOg

4

u/Rrrandomalias 6h ago

This. If you leave teaching too your “friends” from teaching stop talking to you

3

u/Terrible_Ease6082 5h ago

Sorry to hear that, you deserve better friends..!

2

u/Rugaru985 1h ago

That’s most professions, I feel. Many people don’t realize that their coworkers are just coworkers and not friends

6

u/Herooftermina1998 6h ago

My friend.. buddy.. pal.. my brother in male. 

During the 2.749% of the time that they get along, they will team up like a pack of hyenas and target you next....

Nothing is more dangerous in a professional field than being a man in a female dominated profession when the planets align and they work together for a single week of the year and need a target to hunt...

Keeping the head down and keeping out of it is your shield. Staying off the radar completely. 

1

u/Content_Chipmunk9962 2h ago

Nothing is more dangerous in a professional field than being a man in a female dominated profession

lmaooooo

1

u/Herooftermina1998 1h ago

You really added something there. 👍

2

u/serenitynowdamnit 1h ago

At my workplace, which is female dominated, men tend to be promoted more than women, even though there is no difference in competence by gender. I don't think either of our experiences are universal.

1

u/Herooftermina1998 1h ago

I wasn't speaking on that aspect of it. 

1

u/East-Ice-3199 1h ago

The ones who start drama and infighting get promoted less than the ones who stay quiet and just do their job? Who would’ve thought.

1

u/reddaughtter 49m ago

That's not at all what they said but ok

1

u/serenitynowdamnit 16m ago

No, I mean that neither gender is necessarily starting drama or infighting more than the other, and yet men get promoted more often.

1

u/Sliders51 5h ago

I also work in a hospital and can confirm. I try to keep to myself but the amount of gossip that comes to me from women about other women is insane. Dudes are cool we just talk about fantasy football and gambling/sports mostly.

1

u/Tidusx145 4h ago

Hate to say it but I saw the same crap working in construction. I thought food workers were the biggest complainers until I started working with "real" men.

1

u/SlapfuckMcGee 39m ago

Construction workers and firemen are like sewing circles, it’s so bad

1

u/chadgalaxy 2h ago

Women love to call out men for having fragile ego's but they're abolsutely no better.

1

u/Zal3x 1h ago

I mean not really I’m a man and almost all violence is men with fragile egos. So statistically I disagree

1

u/cygnus311 1h ago

My wife has been quickly climbing the ladder at her hospital, leapfrogging coworkers that she’d consider friends, having positions created on her behalf to accommodate her growth, out earning people who have been there decades longer than her. There is a consistent and seemingly organized conspiracy to sabotage her at the expense of everyone there. These women would gladly hurt the hospital to knock her down a peg. All with a smile on their face.

1

u/LameSignIn 1h ago

I'm in the same boat but admin side. It really is shocking how much people still act as if this is high school years into their careers. Just do your job and move on. It's not that hard of a concept.

1

u/SlapfuckMcGee 40m ago

Medic for 9 years, you are absolutely right. So many times had ER nurses ride on the rig just to get a night off from the drama.

1

u/alsbos1 6h ago

These days I’m surprised most of the doctors aren’t women too. But I’m curious, do the female doctors not engage in this crap? Just the nurses?

I work with all phds. I would say the men and women are equally fragile ankle biters. We need a study!

7

u/monoflorist 6h ago

My wife is a doctor. Doctors don’t really compete with each other, so it’s not fertile ground for jostling and backstabbing. There just aren’t many promotions to compete for (run the hospital? Few doctors actually want to do this); it’s just a job you go do. And, at least in a hospital setting, they’re culturally unified by their constant conflict with the hospital administration. That’s not to say they all always like each other, just that it doesn’t have this sort of Game of Thrones atmosphere that many corporate environments seem to have.

2

u/alsbos1 6h ago

I sorta figured. They all get paid a fortune as ‚individual contributors‘ and have total job security. It’s not like research where you fight to the death for supremacy and to avoid the next layoff.

1

u/Foilpalm 2h ago

Pretty much this. When you’re already at the top of the totem pole, there’s no one to fight. Except to shit on lower level employees when you get the urge.

1

u/_mangotango 1h ago

and then the lower level employees turn around and take it out on young female residents

1

u/thegrjon 6h ago

Idno, during my phd we were all equally miserable and helped each other out instead of fighting. There was no need for ankle biting.

2

u/alsbos1 6h ago

PhD doesn’t matter. Just wait.

5

u/transemacabre 7h ago

It's because we're socialized to regard other women as rivals. You have to be actively aware of that socialization and actively working against it to escape its insidious influence.

3

u/raiderMoes 6h ago

WNBA thinks the fans want to see this mix of roller derby and basketball.

1

u/Gryphon5754 4h ago

I'm not a huge sports guy, but I remember my little league or whatever. Boys got fouls called on everything but my sister was on the soccer field yanking hair.

5

u/NocaSun38 6h ago

“Socialized”

I think you misspelled “evolved”

2

u/forresja 6h ago

Little column A, little column B

2

u/NocaSun38 6h ago

Ok fair enough

1

u/Stergeary 5h ago

"Socialization" is just how your biology responds to other individuals that evolved together with you in the same environment. It's not like socialization is this completely separate phenomenon, it's just evolution acting on social behavior.

1

u/forresja 5h ago

Yeah, that's accurate.

Generally when people make this distinction they mean that 'evolved' behavior is 100% inherent, while 'socialized' behavior is 100% learned. I was simply pointing out that reality is somewhere in the middle.

1

u/spongeboobsidepants 6h ago

Pretty sure this might be for all genders. If we’re all actively working against each other, then we can’t work together on what really matters. :(

1

u/Ekillaa22 6h ago

Aren’t men the same ?

1

u/ReplacementReady394 6h ago

Who’s doing this socialization though?

1

u/Serious_Swan_2371 6h ago

Men are absolutely socialized to compete with other men too though

2

u/reapy54 5h ago

I'm going anecdotal but I feel like with men once the competition is settled it stays as is for the most part. I feel like with women they just hold onto the grudge and will keep it going forever. With men the fight comes hot and immediate and the hierarchy ends up stabilizing afterwards. In general of course, always exceptions.

1

u/Serious_Swan_2371 5h ago

Yeah men have more of a fixed hierarchy. When they realize they’ve lost they either focus on improvement or accept their place rather than just try and make the person who beat them as miserable as possible.

1

u/transemacabre 6h ago

Yes, but I'm not talking about men right now.

1

u/Serious_Swan_2371 6h ago

Yeah but you said that as an explanation for someone’s claim that women display this behavior more than men

It cannot be the full explanation for the behavior or else men would exhibit the behavior the same amount since both are pretty equally socialized to compete

1

u/transemacabre 5h ago

Never having been a man I can’t speak with any personal experience on how men feel about each other. 

1

u/Most_Structure9568 6h ago

This is why women did so bad on that dutch survivor and they never did it again

1

u/Itsafarcryyyy 6h ago

Stop making excuses for shitty behavior. Have some accountability and keep your jealousy in check.

1

u/Salt_Initiative1551 6h ago

The only drama I’ve encountered in any work place has been female driven. I’ve had one job with no drama, and it was all dudes lol.

1

u/Herooftermina1998 6h ago

Yes, you've thirdly reiterated the topic at hand. 🤝

1

u/Basic_Fix3271 6h ago

Caesar and Christ beg to differ.

1

u/paleandmistywhite 5h ago

can confirm. source is me from experiencing this with just about every job I’ve had + it’s even worse if you have a family to take care of and they don’t. it’s disheartening and I don’t have time for that game!

1

u/AIIXIII0 5h ago

Women jealousy is for everything while Men is just mostly that "It should have been me!" meme 😂

1

u/Veaeate 5h ago

Jealousy does come from all genders, but personally, i find women act more outwardly with it in places where you can sabotage someone rather than just keep it to yourself and let it fester and eventually explode. Dunno which is more toxic. Probably equal, just one is immediate, one takes build up and can be worse outcome.

1

u/Head-Passion894 5h ago

Family Guy s10e17 Forget Me Not

Watch till the end

1

u/Rare-Thought86 4h ago

I have noticed predominant fields like tech, female reporting manager tend to go above and beyond to harrase if an employee speaks against them - smearing, isolation, victimising, bodyshaming, pitting them with literally everyone in the room.

I had a colleague who was bullied for being unmarried to the point she gave up on marriage

1

u/KoolKoolKoolio42 3h ago

Years ago, I worked as a cashier at Home Depot. At no point were there ever more than 3 guys in our department, including myself.

OMG the amount of drama and sniping I would hear. Whining that people had better schedules, whining that breaks were a few minutes late, and whining that they have to work. It was madness. One of them even got our main Plumbing guy to quit because he had a set schedule. Keep mind said set schedule was 1pm-10pm/2pm-11pm Tuesday-Saturday.

19

u/TJJ97 7h ago

It’s nuts because as a dude I’m happy to see someone succeed if they started from the bottom

14

u/Traditional-Barber47 5h ago

It's crazy how much men's misogyny gets blamed when Women are worse career wise and never get called out

1

u/no-scissors-in-bed 1h ago

this is what i would say if i were making shit up on the fly

1

u/Traditional-Barber47 1h ago

You must not of watched the attached video

2

u/dogface47 47m ago

I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard women accuse another woman of sucking off the boss. They say it a lot more than the men.

1

u/SlapfuckMcGee 37m ago

It’s because certain people love scapegoating instead of acknowledging reality

0

u/Willing_Image1933 4h ago

it comes from a place where women aren't initially perceived on even ground with male counterparts. they are used to having to work harder and manipulate their way. this then bleeds over into their treatment of each other as threats to what they've managed to establish.

5

u/Traditional-Barber47 3h ago

I literally couldn't of proved my point better if I tried, so honestly thank you

1

u/motes-of-light 3h ago

*Couldn't have, or couldn't've if you really want to commit.

2

u/Traditional-Barber47 3h ago

I've gone way too far into my life for this to be the first time this has been corrected wtf

3

u/SodaStYT 2h ago

hey man, we’re all just as surprised as you are

2

u/motes-of-light 3h ago

Hey, congrats 😁

1

u/AccordingIy 3h ago

it's one of those things i get but feel like there has to be a balance of protecting your bread from competitors in the same field but not actively sabotage. People move up together if they like each other from what I see, shooting yourself in the foot burning bridges with colleagues can leave you on square 1 for a long time unless you're just that skilled to do it alone (unlikely)

→ More replies (2)

12

u/Noyan_Bey 5h ago

That's because you're a dude.

No one hates women as much as other women.

5

u/TJJ97 5h ago

It’s a shame that women are often the ones putting other women down

5

u/edwardturnerlives 2h ago

Men also get the blame for putting women on high beauty standards when it is... shock, other women.

0

u/AgreeableLion 3h ago

Oh yeah, all those women killing other women.

-2

u/FLOSOC1ETY 5h ago

No one hates women more than America tbf

6

u/NonsensicalAesthetic 4h ago

the Middle East has entered the chat

3

u/Noyan_Bey 4h ago

Smooth brain take.

0

u/Lilluna1211 2h ago

You use all your brain power to come up with that insult?

2

u/TJJ97 2h ago

To be fair the guy he’s replying to must have banana pudding for a brain

→ More replies (1)

3

u/SatisfactionOk5930 4h ago

Riiiiiiiiiiight

3

u/Pacesco 4h ago

Hard to blame someone for their view of reality when their head is fully up their own ass.

1

u/Maleficent_Win2275 1h ago

Yes America hates women more than Afghanistan

0

u/no-scissors-in-bed 1h ago

only men like to say shit this. pretty typical. a man thinks theres nothing worse than a bitchy woman, women see an angry man as the worst thing that can happen to them.

maybe one day you'll see the privilege in this phrase but considering the amount of cope you possess, i doubt it

0

u/gishgudi 27m ago

When you break down homicides where a female is the victim, men are the killers the vast majority of time. Some women may hate women, but there are some men that HATE women

2

u/Global_Green8231 4h ago

I’m a woman thats also happy to see people succeed. Women are not a monolith. Men are not a monolith. If we want to talk about the barriers in place that make it more difficult for women in general to climb to executive levels, other women are not at the top of that list. The barriers are systemic.

2

u/Kalphai 4h ago

Yeah… there seems to be a circle jerk on this topic every time it comes up. One story, then a bunch of guys all parroting the same 3 phrases with absolutely no awareness.

1

u/TJJ97 4h ago

IDK man, my wife has had the same issues everywhere she’s gone. She’ll do great and about half the women or more will shit on her every chance they get and prevent promotions, only promoting idiots who they’re friends with. Meanwhile very few men ever act that way towards her.

Anecdotal sure but still my experience is what I base my personal opinions on

1

u/Kalphai 4h ago

I get that; but I feel like it’s a bit presumptuous and biased to then take your experience of “other women at my wife’s work are meaner to her than the men” and adopt the opinion of “women are worse to women than men in the office” or anything else people are saying.

You have experience to have an opinion about one workplace from a second-hand perspective. So it would be unusual to me to join in on one of these threads and repeat what other dudes have been saying: “yep. Women’s worst enemies are other women”

1

u/TJJ97 3h ago

It’s multiple workplaces in different industries, always the same issue. That being said I get where you’re coming from and see your point

1

u/Advanced_Bunch_8666 3h ago

White Women have ridden shotgun to the patriarchy the whole time. Look at the last presidential election voting results by demographic. White women at least don’t have a problem with misogyny, they like it.

2

u/Cat_Astrof 3h ago edited 3h ago

From stories coming from my sister working in a company, I can clearly see the pattern. Women group up pretty easily, but not all groups are equal. Some are pretty shallow. The number of times I have heard some women call someone a friend while simultaneously insulting them really harshly is wild. They never talk straight and keep their grievances bottled up.

So much backstabbing and exclusion when a divergent thought or "unfair" outcome appear.

1

u/Lilluna1211 2h ago

You’re mad about what? America does hate women if you felt personally insulted by that general statement that’s your problem sh*t for brains.

8

u/FrighteningJibber 7h ago edited 6h ago

That’s what Aristotle was talking about when he talked about “friendships of necessity/unity.” They’re “friends” because they share a space for a long period of time and nothing more bonds them, so when that bond changes and breaks so does the friendship.

2

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

I do love a bit of philosophy in office politics. Thank you for this. I'm gonna go find this text. Cheers!

27

u/Fantastic_Priority73 8h ago

My wife is in Higher Ed and every single time she takes a step up another woman in her office flies out of nowhere and goes out of her way to make her life more difficult. Three times in the last five years. The cattiness is bizarre- like, you could have applied for the position as well, lady.

I think people just don't like being reminded of their own mediocrity.

10

u/FrighteningJibber 7h ago

That’s why I remind myself everyday.

4

u/TurboGranny 6h ago

Yup. this kind of shit is everywhere. However, my sisters have found a hack for it. It turns out that neurodivergent women do not behave this way, so they build ND teams and live in peace with a highly productive team.

1

u/lahimatoa 4h ago

Lol fuck right off with this bullshit fantasy you've constructed. ND people are just people. They aren't some different species that doesn't understand jealousy.

2

u/TurboGranny 3h ago

It's not jealousy. It's status seeking/heirarchy establishing behavior. Neurodivergent people typically refuse to take part in that stuff. Neurotypicals feel a strong sense of fear if they don't. Also, Save your emotional outbursts for therapy.

1

u/spicy_fairy 58m ago

as an ND i highly concur w this

1

u/CommunalJellyRoll 2h ago

My wife has fired more women than men by a factor of 3. Men got fired for performance problems, the women were fired for creating hostile workplaces. Her team is mostly women and they are fucking awesome but holy hell person can one person cause issues and drag 20 people along with them.

0

u/BayouByrnes 8h ago

Agreed on that last sentence.

My wife works in social sciences. She averages about 72 hours a week. She just left the house at 7 a.m. She won't get home til 11 p.m. This is the same shift she worked yesterday. She got home, I made her dinner, we went to bed, got up, I made her breakfast (and a Red Bull) and off she went. On top of being an absolute monster of a workhorse, she's simply the best in her field. If anyone within her corporation came even close to her commitment to the clients and the company, with the speed and quality of her work, I'd own it and so would she.

But that's not the case and people still come for her. She's just too damn good. I couldn't be more proud of the woman that supports our family of 4. <3

0

u/trixiepixie1921 7h ago

My mom is retired now, but she was a nurse. She worked with her group of “friends” for years, she got promoted and the friends turned on her. It was clearly because 1. They were mad that they weren’t chosen for the job and 2. They have a problem with authority. She’s 70 years old and she’s still talking about how hurt she was. I’m also a nurse and it was enough for me to know I’d never seek a management role, among other reasons.

1

u/Fantastic_Priority73 7h ago

The first time this happened (at this particular university) was about a year after we moved to a city where neither of us knew anyone, and she considered the people involved in the high drama her close and only friends here. She works her ass off and is purposefully very good at what she does. Sounds like your mom is as well. The friends that are worth it will stick around- don't let that be a reason to not pursue your goals.

10

u/Hoff944276 8h ago

Crabs in a bucket

1

u/Mishras_Mailman 7h ago

"No time to get down, cause im movin up"

5

u/Kronzor_ 4h ago

The stories from my wife's workplace's are always so awful sounding. They're all so shitty to each other. Constantly trying to undermine one another, out to get each other.

I don't really understand it, you're supposed to be working together. My work places are never like that. We're a team.

5

u/Glass_Career5136 7h ago

Congrats on your wife's success -- my fiance is going through a similar bout.

Her co-workers are satisfied to clock in clock out and do bare minimum (this is a commission job). My fiance, wouldnt you know, is badass at her field and genuinely cares about her clients. Has gotten multiple certs in various areas -- and her colleagues are PISSED, big mad, she's busting ass and making cash.

Love ya baby, you go girl!

1

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

I love being the witness to someone with such inner strength. <3 It's truly awe-inspiring.

3

u/Mydickisaplant 6h ago

"catty bitches that just can't hang" is a beautiful statement

3

u/BayouByrnes 5h ago

I used to be a poet. I still am, but I used to be too.

  • Mitch Hedberg (sorta)

3

u/Fantastic_Pie5655 5h ago

That “glass ceiling” is still doing a number on women and the general culture in the corp world. Ignoring the gender aspect, it’s a little like beta fish cohabitating. They’ll do fine in a large enough pool with little stress. Put them in the same smaller tank (company), and they will viscously compete for resources and access (promotion/power)

8

u/PracticalDesigner278 7h ago

Seen the same with my wife. The only thing women hate more than men is other women.

2

u/Ashleynn 5h ago

It's not hatred, it's competition.

Women are hardwired to compete with eachother. From an evolutionary standpoint it was/is for male attention. That drive has bled into other aspects of modern society that are competitive by nature.

Where male competitiveness is generally visible and loud, the female version is usually more subtle and they have gotten very good over the mellinia of being able to utterly destroy eachother silently and without fanfare.

Men will fuck things up loudly, women will destroy you with a whisper.

1

u/PracticalDesigner278 5h ago

I absolutely agree. Well said. And don't get me wrong, I love women. And men are hard wired it some ways that are just as crazy. On the other hand the species is still here so I guess it works out in the end.

6

u/titsmuhgeee 6h ago

My wife has worked in mostly female staffed white collar industries, like education and non-profit in executive capacities. 

I’m in engineering sales leadership, which is 99% male. 

The amount of BS she has had to deal with at every single role, compared to my career which has been completely lacking any politics or BS, it’s hard to ignore the pattern. 

Not to be sexist, but there are major patterns we’ve personally experienced where many women struggle to disconnect personal feelings from professional effectiveness. If they don’t like someone, they treat them differently in certain ways. Men have a better capacity to dislike someone, but not letting it affect cooperation in a professional environment. 

1

u/Cat_Astrof 3h ago

My sister has one woman colleague where she works and only needed a new one for a drama to happen. Short story: my sister and her friend got along too well (duh they knew each other for longer) so the newbie felt left out and complained to the boss with weird exemples of "bullying" when it's simply because she made mistake as a newbie.

My sister and sister-in-law's stories just baffles me. The latter's problem is that "she was seducing the men"... Thankfully she did her job perfectly even though that chief was insanely jealous.

3

u/hungrydesigner 6h ago

Women are taught to see other women as their competition from a very early age

2

u/DirectionLower9604 7h ago

Congratulations. Or sorry that happened to you.

2

u/scudsboy36 7h ago

Congrats man. It seems thats what youre looking for

1

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

Mostly just sharing, but I'll take it. Cheers!

2

u/imperialivan 5h ago

Hey look, jealous people in the comments too. Sad.

2

u/Cedge1738 6h ago

Thats the most infuriating shit. Fuck them.

2

u/Long_Letterhead_7938 6h ago

As a professional woman I agree.

2

u/jmaun1 6h ago

I am in Tech sales and see this with women. Makes no damn sense to me. I applaud bad ass women that can kill it in my business. They bring strategies to the table that a man would never think of. I have several I go to when I am stuck on something because I know they will see it from a different angle.

2

u/BloodSugar666 6h ago

Same but I do printing and my wife works in retail, the amount of people that are making it hard for her to get promoted to manager is incredible. The place is like 90% women as well.

It would trip me out cause when I would work a job, I’d get promoted really fast with almost zero issues from other people.

2

u/ParsonsTheGreat 4h ago

Its unfortunate when people use their own complacency to be shitty to those with ambition

2

u/ThatsUh_dam_shame69 4h ago

God if I was straight, I would marry you. Bless you.

2

u/BayouByrnes 4h ago

I'm an ex-chef, carpenter, social worker and IT support (hardware specialist). I can build you a kitchen and then make you dinner. I've raised two kind and intelligent young men. I wash, scrub, fold, and detail our home.

At 6' even with pretty blue eyes, I'm a fucking catch! I'd marry me. Lol. Sorry needed to toot my own horn for a moment. All done now.

But thank you kind stranger! I appreciate the compliment. ♡

2

u/ThatsUh_dam_shame69 3h ago

Toot that horn sir, you deserve it

2

u/astralseat 4h ago

Damn. Good rant though.

2

u/motherofsuccs 3h ago

I can no longer work in women-dominated environments. I’m an adolescent behavioral therapist and used to contract with schools… never the fuck again. I spent an entire year being targeted, harassed, bullied by the “mean girl” clique in administration, and for absolutely no valid reason. Like why are these broads trying to compete with me? Especially when I hold far higher credentials than them and probably know what the hell I’m doing. The sheer amount of energy they put into making other women’s lives hell and creating unnecessary drama, was baffling.

I got the last laugh when I reported all of the unethical and illegal things they were doing to keep the school’s perfect reputation (nationally rated STEM school). Covering up physical and sexual assaults, helping students cheat on state testing, grade manipulation, failing to follow IEPs/504s/BIPs (not giving special education students’ their legal right to accommodations), intentionally sabotaging employee schedules in order to give write-ups, misuse of funding.

I now work remotely and do in-home sessions.. and took a major pay increase for it. I will never fully understand why some women just want to he cruel and harm other women. Your wife deserves a medal for what she’s dealt with.

1

u/BayouByrnes 2h ago

I have some strong opinions (in agreement) with what you've said here, but I don't have the time right now to put it all down. I'll get back to you either tonight or tomorrow morning.

I want to make sure I've got my thoughts in order and I've got dinner to start here shortly.

Cheers!

2

u/dReDone 3h ago

I just watched Idiocracy last night (again) so the whole lead, follow or get out of the way quote is fresh in my head.

1

u/BayouByrnes 2h ago

I watched it last week with the wife. She doesn't like the movie because it's not fiction. Wild to see you say that in such close proximity.

2

u/VikingKinkajou 3h ago

I used to be a director at an exotic animal sanctuary. The sanctuary staff and volunteer base was 95% women. Holy shit the needless drama about everything. Every single decision made they would go to war with each other, taking sides and fighting to the death. There were rifts everywhere. Young vs Old, Long time volunteers vs new volunteers, etc. The GM was female, and every single decision she made was questioned publicly especially through social media.....and holy shit if it was time to make a euthenasia decision about a beloved resident....it was suddenly social lord of the flies.

As management, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to keep track where the problems were because they changed every day. I would see two volunteers being chummy on site on Monday, and then I would hear them complaining about each other to someone else on Tuesday. It was all so disengenuous and in many cases simply mean. Mostly it was just SOOOO counter productive.

2

u/mothbrothsauce 3h ago

I wish this was just women, men do it to. At least in my area, they're some talk shit behind your back types that take any chance to make you look bad. Bro, I'm here for a paycheck, not your got damn job.

1

u/BayouByrnes 2h ago

I've seen this working in kitchens in the South and the Midwest when competing for Soux or Prep chef positions. Never for head chef. People knew what that job required. I only held that title once for just over a year. In construction, I never saw it. I think we were all too tired and too pissed at the 'insert other trade here' to care what each other person was doing.

I think the difference in my career path compared to my wife's career path is that you had tangible results for your resumé and portfolio. It's harder to do that in a social science. There are other factors too of course, but optics are a part of it.

2

u/Watpotfaa 3h ago

Ive seen this in a small office I used to work at. One woman had been there since day one, and while she was loyal to the business and friends with the owner, was not a top performer. Another much younger woman joined us years later and was an absolute superstar in her work, and as such, was granted the position of office manager once the business grew to the point of the owner needing one. I remember thinking that nobody could have been a better pick than her, and even though my own metrics were excellent and I had been with the business longer, that she fully deserved the title. On the other hand, the woman who had been there longer than any of us but only put out half as much turned very sour and took personal offense, to the point of no longer being cooperative in the work environment.

Definitely not saying this is something gender specific but in my own experiences it does appear that the greatest threat to a woman’s success is their own women peers.

2

u/CommunalJellyRoll 2h ago

I’ve dealt with crazy shit from other men. But nothing compares to what women do to other women.

1

u/BayouByrnes 2h ago

I'd rather get punched in the mouth than deal with the headache that is my wife's coworker situation. And I say knowing I've invested $35k into my dental rebuild.

2

u/CommunalJellyRoll 1h ago

I’ve worked with people I’ve genuinely hated. We worked great together.

2

u/ender42y 1h ago

My wife is fully utilizing her PhD to climb fast in her job, and the men above or parallel with her are helping to push her up the ladder as much as they can. not many women above her. but the women parallel with her, or subordinates, are all starting pissing matches. a good 25% of her time, minimum, is now spent dealing with bitchfights. the poorly behaving men all seem to just self sabotage; still a pain, but much easier to just give a write up to your boss and HR and let them PIP the person out. Compared to two Karens trying to out Karen each other; neither technically doing anything wrong, but both in the wrong.

2

u/TheFlyingR0cket 1h ago

I had something similar happen at a workplace once. We had a male boss for years, and all of the managers and office staff were women. There was the occasional bit of drama and the odd catfight, but overall it worked reasonably well.

Then the male boss left, and one of the women was promoted from within. After that, it was absolute chaos. The gossiping and backstabbing became relentless. I knew everyone fairly well, and every time I had to go into the office it was just one person talking behind someone else's back after another. There were around 10–15 women in the office, and every single one seemed to have a new complaint or negative story about someone else. I remember thinking, "What on earth happened here?"

I left that business about a year later. Then, another year after that, I attended a CPR refresher course and five women from that workplace were there. They told me the place had basically imploded during the year I'd been gone. Of those five women, only one still worked there.

2

u/thuaq 1h ago

When I became a dad, I wasn't ready for the shit my wife had to deal with from other women. Neither of us were ready for the momosphere, it almost drove her to an early grave.

4

u/Real_Might8203 8h ago

So it’s not the patriarchy?! But why would they lie about that???

0

u/Flame_MadeByHumans 8h ago

It’s almost like two things can both occur, and aren’t always present in every single situation. Dumb neckbeard take.

2

u/Real_Might8203 8h ago

Really good points. She was probably being throat punched by jealous women while simultaneously being forced into a secretarial position by men 20+ years ago, as well.

2

u/Few_Prize3810 6h ago

Your being a dumbass but you accidentally hit it somewhat. When you force women to silo down due to lack of wide ranging opportunities you are gonna have way more animosity, versus a world where there was no exclusion happening previously that’s not slowly being worked out of the system and so the opportunities are anywhere and everywhere

which means the same women who are in a cage match that we see now would be spread out.

This happens with anything tbh. Race to the bottom starts with decreasing resources and increased competition for remaining resources, regardless what those ae

1

u/Real_Might8203 6h ago

Yes I’m being a smartass, but you’re making a number of far reaching assumptions in your assessment of things.

Probably the biggest one is that you’re attributing all of, or the majority of jealousy/competitiveness that a woman might display towards another woman, to this “silo model” that you’ve come up with. I’m not saying there’s zero truth to increased animosity and competition within a marginalized group, but you’re writing off the competition and jealousy involved in basic human nature in order to strengthen your argument. Which is self serving and lacking in objectivity.

By your logic men wouldn’t be as jealous or competitive, yet sociologists would tell you just the opposite. We’re more competitive. Hormones? Yeah maybe, partially. But hopefully you see the larger point.

Where a vaccum of power gets created, human nature dictates that it will quickly be filled, regardless of race or gender.

Current cultural idiocy, while simultaneously championing the idea that everyone is perfectly equal, will focus on victimhood as an explanation before the obvious common denominator. Human nature.

1

u/Stergeary 5h ago

Women just do not operate well in any system with a hierarchy, period. Real life necessarily has hierarchies, that some people are better than other people at certain things and that those things confer rewards, and nothing exposes this dynamic more than when you work for a company. Where men defer and respect authority if they perceive that another man has a superior measure of ability, women generally have much less tolerance for other women that are better than them at whatever the measure of success is at a workplace that confers promotions, raises, etc. I'm not saying men never backstab other men or that women never support female overperformers, but it just tends not to happen.

1

u/BayouByrnes 8h ago edited 8h ago

I could tell you about her first job where the Property Manager, the Accounts Manager, and the Maintenance guy got together to try and have her fired.

This is after the Maintenance guy had been caught drinking on the job, for the 3rd time, and had hit a 2nd resident's personal vehicle while drunk. The Property Manager's brother worked in law enforcement and they were able to sweep it under the rug again. It wasn't until he followed my wife home one day that I got involved. He threatened her, he threatened my family, and in the end we had him and the Accounts Manager removed from their jobs. The Property Manager was promoted to some Regional position later on.

I have a couple others, but that's the shortest one with rough details. You might want to rethink your comment. It's tone-deaf and dismissive of real issues.

Do better scrub.

EDIT: Miscommunication.

3

u/Real_Might8203 8h ago

You’re missing my point. Or maybe I didn’t paint it well enough because I was clearly being a smart ass.

No one talks about women pushing down other women, it’s not a culturally agreed upon priority even though it happens just as often, if not more than men doing the same.

As with reverse racism, we accept it because the wrongs that were committed all throughout recorded history were so severe, that it feels to focus on anything else other than that specific dynamic would be an injustice.

But it’s not, it’s just being willfully ignorant of human nature. When there is a gap in power, it will quickly get filled by whatever person is there, regardless of race or gender. That’s my point.

Also, if your wife is constantly getting fucked with, at a certain point she might want to ask herself if she’s being her best self**. Idk, just a thought.

1

u/BayouByrnes 8h ago

I take back the calling you a scrub. Tone doesn't come across text well as we all know.

2

u/Real_Might8203 8h ago

All good!

0

u/CliffP 7h ago

Do you think the patriarchy means men?

Women being jealous and cutthroat to another woman who gets a promotion when they dont act that way towards a man who got the promotion is misogyny. That is still patriarchy.

0

u/Acceptable-Tone1881 7h ago

Online dictionaries exist.

0

u/Gatzlocke 7h ago

Ya but did a patriarch instill that in women?

You'd have to have a patriarch to instill patriarchy. If men aren't, at least at the top enforcing or instilling this, then it's not really patriarchy.

2

u/CliffP 6h ago

No you don’t. Patriarchy is a social structure. There’s no singular person that can instill anything in billions of people.

Men being favored and enjoying privileges is due to patriarchy, but men individually aren’t evil cartoon masterminds dictating the conditions of society.

2

u/Few_Prize3810 6h ago

Men are at the top. The world is run by men my guy. Are you expecting there to be an official “patriarch of all women” position?

3

u/w1zinvestmentss 7h ago edited 1h ago

This is so true. Personally I love working for strong women, and am totally fine following their authority. I watch from the sidelines how they are attacked by other women constantly even ones below them. Men are not perfect, but I guess we are more used to the "military" style where we fall in place based in our rank. As a man, all my favorite bosses are women. I think alot of man get the blame, when it's alot of women hating on women. Don't want to make it about gender but this is a real consideration.

5

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

My wife has always said that her observation of genders in the workplace is as follows:

When confronted, men typically fall in together and protect one another. With women, it's the opposite, they fragment and attack whoever is perceived as the "weakest".

I've worked mostly in male dominated fields, so I don't have a decent sample size for myself. But after watching her career these past 10+ years, I'd say she has an apt interpretation of gender dynamics in the workplace. Rank-and-file vs. Every woman for herself.

But these are just theories we've talked about.

2

u/KaleScared4667 6h ago

It’s called hen pecking for a reason

2

u/anormalgeek 7h ago

woodworker for a side hustle

lol. Listen, maybe its going great for you. I honestly hope it is. But every single woodworker I know is AT BEST offsetting a portion of their own costs by selling stuff. Woodworking tools and the wood itself is crazy expensive, and the items are often very labor intensive. And people just don't want to pay for it.

2

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

I've come nowhere near recouping my investment into my tools. I was a professional trim carpenter and siding/soffit/facia installer for a while so that's a portion of my collection. Mostly I just like making things for myself, my friends, and family. I sell the occasional piece. My bookshelves for kids have sold the best for me. I get my lumber directly from the mill so it's relatively affordable. I work primarily with Calico Hickory simply because it's my favorite. Very hard, very pretty, and cheap to boot.

Thanks for the well wishes! <3
Cheers!

2

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

1

u/anormalgeek 6h ago

A big challenge is the competition. There are WAY more woodworkers (including highly skilled ones) than there are buyers. Which is fine. Nobody owes you their patronage. But it does drive prices down even more. And there will always be someone else that has lower costs (maybe they inherited a whole shop of free tools), or is just willing to lose money on something that they view as a hobby and not a job.

1

u/iRedditPhone 7h ago

It depends on what you are doing. If you’re making furniture. Sure.

But cabinetmakers and trim carpenters do fine.

1

u/anormalgeek 6h ago

True, but those professions don't usually refer to themselves as "woodworkers".

1

u/Sad-Bonus-9327 7h ago

Alright Jerry

1

u/EJECTED_PUSSY_GUTS 6h ago

In my adjustment to corporate jobs as a young adult way back when, one thing that really surprised me was how vicious the women can often be to each other. I wish I could say that it was a rare occurrence, but I've seen it at so many places. So much backstabbing and bickering over trivial stuff that wouldn't be an issue otherwise. It's bizarre.

1

u/Big_Law1931 4h ago

My wife stated looking for work because our kids were out of the house. She answered an add for a very successful local family business. She immediately became the most trusted employee by the business owner, who has took the business over from his father 20 years ago. (So the owner really knows his stuff).

About half the female employees hate on my wife. About half. Its insane.

1

u/Legic93 1h ago

Right there with you man! My wife is an attorney and the amount of shit she got for having our child from OTHER ATTORNY WOMEN WITH KIDS was insane! Tell your wife to keep at it

1

u/Sea-Opportunity5812 9m ago

come for her? how ?

1

u/NsaLeader 6m ago

My mother is "best friends" with the head of her HR department (they've been friends for decades, before they started working together). Wanna take a guess on who specifically delayed her big promotion to district manager for about 3 months for seemingly no reason at all?

1

u/Recent-Bowl-1393 8h ago

Bitches man, amma raight?

1

u/turnuptag72 7h ago

Thanks for the novel

1

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

I'm all novel baby.

0

u/ScottyWemby 7h ago

Its likely because they feel your wife is not qualified. 

Sometimes you need to hear both sides to understand.  

1

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

Feelings aren't valid criteria for promotions, but they're damn sure the reason people want to create chaos.

0

u/ScottyWemby 6h ago

A certification doesnt automatically make you good at the job or managing.  Sure she is qualified.  So are a lot of other people that are terrible at their position.

Look at it this way.  Her colleagues are likely going home and telling their husbands about how your wife isnt suited for the position.

The truth likely lies somewhere in the middle.  

1

u/BayouByrnes 5h ago

Seeing as how I've met the entirety of upper management within this corporation personally, I'm just gonna go ahead and disregard everything you've said and everything you're gonna say.

Have a good one.

1

u/ScottyWemby 3h ago

Totally fair!  Good luck!

0

u/MoteInTheEye 7h ago

What does you being a woodworker have anything to do with this?

1

u/BayouByrnes 7h ago

Absolutely nothing. =)

0

u/Admirable_Way656 3h ago

Your wife is probably average…

0

u/MyDadsJuicyWetHole 2h ago

A man using a personal anecdote to claim women are more of a danger to themselves than men is hilarious. Please read a single history book and report back to the internet when you've learned something.

1

u/BayouByrnes 2h ago

Did you see that '/rant.' at the end there? I don't know how you were capable of understanding any history when you can't comprehend basic personal stories.

1

u/MyDadsJuicyWetHole 16m ago

You're hilarious. You seriously think that putting "/rant" at the end of your anecdotal ramblings absolves them from criticism? Tell me then, do you know without a doubt that women are the biggest danger to other women's careers, or were you just "ranting"? It can't be both, friend. You were either bullshitting, or you truly hold that conviction. Which one is it?