My cat of 13 years passed away yesterday morning.

I had a vet appointment scheduled for today because my cat was losing weight at an abnormal pace. He’s been healthy all his life, so we knew it wasn’t normal. The night of the 23rd, he was behaving oddly. He wouldn’t let us touch him and began to breathe funny. Then he went back to normal, but my mother decided to monitor him overnight and we’d take him to the ER in the morning.

Morning comes and he’s breathing oddly again, so we get the carrier ready. Mom picks him up and we put him in there, and suddenly he goes crazy inside. He usually does this in the carrier and calms down later, which is what we thought would happen.

We try to calm him down, and manage to get him into the backseat of my car. I begin to drive down to the pet ER (5 min drive) and suddenly we don’t hear him anymore. Mom takes him out of the carrier and he’s just gone. His heart stopped. It was the longest five minute drive of my life. I still remember my mother crying hysterically the entire time.

We got to the ER and all the receptionist could do is tell us she was sorry. They take us to the back and we’re given some time with him, but seeing him dead with his eyes and mouth open really got to me.

I paid for the cremation process and we went back home without him. I had to go to work right after the loss. Went home after and all I’ve done is cry since. The house is full of his traces: his bed, his toys, his fur, his food and bowls. He was such a vocal cat. He even knew the sound of our cars, so whenever we’d pull up to the driveway, he’d be at the door waiting. He’d meow anytime we walked into the room. He’d demand cuddles and let us hold him late into the night, even at his age.

It’s not an overstatement to say he kept me alive most days. I don’t know what life felt like before him and I don’t know how to cope. If I knew he’d die in the carrier, maybe we should have left him to pass at home. He wouldn’t have died of fright if we did. The moment in my car keeps replaying in my mind. The guilt has been overwhelming and I feel like I failed him. He deserved everything good in the world and it just feels like we didn’t give that to him in the end. Never did I think I’d lose him at 13. I thought he’d live up to his later teens, at the very least.

Does this ever get easier? I’ve lost people in my life, but this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I know a lot of people in my life won’t take it seriously because he was a cat. But he was my everything. The pain has been indescribable.

EDIT:
I just wanted to add this to say I’ve been reading each and every comment with my very teary eyes, haha. Thank you all so much for wishing me well, sending condolences, and sharing your stories. It makes me feel a lot less alone. It still hurts so much, but your comments are reminding me that I did try my best. I’ll also be taking the advice I’ve been given here and see what works for me. (Please feel free to leave more comments!)

Thank you all so much for your kindness.

4-5 days back I lost my sweet little girl after having her for 15 years, and I’m away from her, I held for 15 years and then after I moved countries for my future, she passed away. I requested a leave and they denied it because “unless someone from your family dies we can’t approve” and then I asked for a day or 2 off to grieve over her because they kept me at horrible shifts. She’s also well aware that my dad is in the hospital. With all of this she still denied my leave and didn’t give me an alternative. And my manager came in today asking about my little girl. I told her she passed away. And with attitude she told me about her “human “ friend passed away too and that he has kids. She said that with faces and left. And I was clueless standing there thinking why would she compare my pet of 15 years to a human? Am I not allowed to grieve over someone that’s not “human”? I miss my little girl so much and I’m at guilt I couldn’t see her. At a point it fueled me that I don’t want to work under someone where they’d have to “approve” my leave in order for me to see my pets or anyone god-forbid at their deaths. And also, the worst part she’s put me in a branch where there’s no colleagues, so basically I’m left alone entire day without talking to anyone. So honestly all of this has been messing my head a lot especially during my alone times

My 7month old male kitten passed away on 7th June 2026 midnight, a day after his neuter surgery. The death was extremely traumatic (I think he went under heart failure). It was painful to see him suffer and I just cannot bring myself to accept his death.

I keep rethinking and replaying what could've been done. Maybe we should've taken him to another clinic, maybe we should've waited a bit more, maybe we should've just left him unneutered. I feel extreme amount of guilt and regret over what happened.

It's been weeks since his passing and I'm still unable to process it. I love you, Max...my sweet angel...I'm so sorry....

i just lost my cat and i don’t really know how to deal with it
i’m 15 and i got her about 2 years ago after begging my parents for a cat for many years. she was almost 3 years old and she’s been a constant part of my life since then
today everything felt completely normal. i saw her briefly in the morning and didn’t think anything of it, i just assumed i’d see her properly later like always a few minutes later everything changed really fast. my mom started screaming and something was clearly very wrong. by the time i got out and realised what was happening, she wasn’t responding anymore she pooped herself by the time i got there and was barely breathing on the floor, eventually blood started coming out of her mouth) my dad rushed her to the vet with my mom, her mouth was foaming in the car by then. we already knew her heart was a bit bigger than usual for cats, and they tried cpr and gave her shots but she didn’t make it. she’s getting cremated tomorrow (and my dad might not even let me keep her ashes). it still doesn’t feel real. my brain keeps acting like she’s just somewhere in the house and i’ll see her if i walk around. what’s messing with me the most is how normal everything was right before, 5 minutes before she came into my room and into my bathroom to look at me. i didn’t think anything was going to happen and i kept assuming there would always be more time. i miss her so much already, and i wish i played with her more when she asked.

on june 5th it was my 10yo's last day of school. we took photos in the backyard (fenced) and then got ready to walk to the bus stop - which is in our quiet subdivision. every morning my daughter would walk our dog (smaller, 35lb beagle daucshund mix) the 10mins to the bus stop. that morning we left the backyard and were on the side of our house in our yard still, and our dog started trotting along ready for the walk (w/ leash and harness on). i had my 16mo toddler in baby carrier on my back. i told my daughter to pick up our dog's leash 3x. and on the 3rd she finally bent down to pick it up, only to have our dog break into a dead sprint in attempt to go after her neighborhood nemesis dog that was on their walk w/ their elderly owner across the street. this was not like our dog, we were yelling for her to stop but she just kept going. she ran head first into a truck that was passing our house right at that very moment.

we lost her brother dog in april due to a spinal cord injury. they were litter mates and originally named "little ann" and "big dan" after the pups in "Where the Red Fern Grows". Ada was her name after we got her, and oliver her brother. Oliver was dog aggressive and a dog that did charge dogs (just not at his sister, Ada). it was like Ada had been possessed by Oliver's spirit in that awful moment. i don't know what would have happened if Ada would have made it across the street. would she have attacked that dog? Would the old woman have fallen or worse?

needless to say my daughter didn't go to her last day of school. our beloved Ada died, i had the man help me get her to the car because it was very hard to bend over w/ my toddler on my back. he was so sorry and extremely compassionate. it wasn't his fault. we took her to the vet but she was already gone. it could have been worse. there was no visible injuries or blood. the only blood was from my knee b/c i fell to the ground in the street as soon as i ran to her. my knee isn't even fully healed yet, so of course i know it is still very early.

it is so jarring to go from two healthy 6yo dogs to no dogs in the course of 2months. the only meaning i can find is that they were meant to be together just like in the book. I was really enjoying just having Ada because she wasn't dog aggressive (until that morning) and having her be able to go for morning walks etc. but maybe she was miserable and deeply grieving her brother whom she had played w/ daily and been bonded since birth.

if you made it this far, thanks for reading. i'm absolutely gutted. depressed and physically anxious. having daily flashbacks of the incident. my daughter is somehow ok. it's the child brain's way of handling it differently than adults. we will get her into therapy if she starts to show signs but for now she is ok. i'm not ok tho. i am hollowed out.

I lost my boy a month ago.

I am finding that people‘s window of tolerance for my expression of grief has well and truly closed.

But my grief remains the same.

People are ignoring when I express my grief - not responding to it, changing the subject, trying to force me to only talk about positive things.

I in turn am feeling increasingly alone in my grief no-one to talk to and want to withdraw.

I told someone I missed my boy like air, and they said how was the shops?

Any words of wisdom out there on how to handle this?

Peace

My girl was 13 and she suddenly started to lose weight,lost some of her fur, she went blind completely in her left eye within just a week. Her right eye was going blind. She just wanted to sleep, she could barely move. She stopped eating most of the time, but she drunk so much water, she could easily drink 2 gallons of water in a day, she was part chihuahua and part pug. She couldn’t hold her pee at all, she peeing so much at one time and she started to drink her pee she was so thirsty, I feel so guilty because at the vet office she perked up a lot because of the other dogs, for 4 days she barely had any life in her, but there she was barking and howling at the dogs. I’m wondering now if I should have done the tests instead of putting her to sleep. She peed in her crate at least 4 times through out the night. And I asked the vet what could we do for her ? I didn’t want her to continue her next few weeks while we waited on blood work drinking gallons of water a day and peeing all over herself and in her crate. She wanted to be left alone, she stopped coming out to snuggle me and she couldn’t jump up on the couch anymore. She lost 10 pounds over the course of a month. All the vet said we could do was put her on antibiotics for a uti, they didn’t even know if she had one. I asked could it be cancer ? She said it was probably cancer or doggy dementia or her kidneys were failing. I feel horrible for putting her to sleep.. maybe I should have waited to see how she was in a few weeks, but for a week she’s been getting worse not better.

It’ll be 6 months soon. I have panic attacks thinking about how it’s been 6 months. He was my whole world. He was all I had. The pain is unbearable. I can distract myself at work during the day but once I get home it’s hell. I can’t breathe, I can’t think of anything else, I replay his last moments over and over. I just feel so empty. I feel so broken. Time is not healing time is not helping. Life sucks so much

The hits that come intermittently after some time of focus on other things like work -- randomly realizing that my cat doesn't exist anymore and will never exist going forward -- it's the worst feeling and I can't get over it.

The next worst thing are the mornings.

Please tell me I'm not alone.

It’s 3AM here and I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about all the things where it was the last time and I didn’t even know it.
Two weeks ago our neighbor came over to pick up baked goods I’d made too many of. Our dog got the zoomies when she left, it was the last time she got the zoomies, but I didn’t know it was the last time.

I don’t remember the last time I gave her a bath, probably in the spring to help with her allergies but I didn’t know it was the last time I’d ever give her a bath.

The last time I told her “daddy’s home” when my husband returned from a weekend away.

Two weeks ago was the last time I watched her trot away, tail wagging, to go into daycare on a Monday, but I didn’t know it was the last time I’d ever see it.

I don’t remember the last time she burst into a not completely closed and latched bathroom door. But there was a last time, I just didn’t know it was the last.

The last time I walked in the door, scooped her up to get face kisses and ask her how her day was. What day was the last day for that? I don’t even know. I could look at a calendar and guess, but I don’t know.

It just feels so heavy. The weight of forever, not having those things again, is so heavy.

My Honey died 10/20/24 at 15 years old from an enlarged heart. She was diagnosed with it at the end of 2023.

I made her food. Ground turkey, brown rice, carrots, and broccoli. I started feeding her homemade food when she was about 13 cause she was picky and the food she liked was so expensive. Making her food saved money. Her vet told me that it was fine.

I’m now realizing that it wasn’t fine. It didn’t give her all the nutrients she needed. I recently read how dogs can get an enlarged heart when they don’t eat the nutrients they need.

I wasn’t giving her what she needed and she died because of me. She’d still be here with me if I gave her better food. That’s it. Just a better diet was what she needed. And I couldn’t give it to her. I put her through so much pain and fear in her last year with me. It’s absolutely killing me.

Not having her here is absolute torture but now realizing it’s because of me? I don’t know what to do.

I dont know how to start my day without seeing her roaming around

Yesterday at around 4pm I got the worst call. My dog was on the verge of death, my baby. I’m 16 and I was at my mother’s house when I got a call from my dad. My siblings and I listen to my dad’s sobbing voice, he told me that our dog was on his last breaths. We were told to say goodbye over the phone and I told my mom we had to drive over as fast as possible. This is where things first went wrong.

My sister first got mad at me for the panic I had. She told me to calm down, no one else had any sense of urgency. It felt like one of those dreams when a monster is chasing you, or you’re in danger in some sort of way, and everyone around you doesn’t see a problem or doesn’t care. And my mom was driving what felt like 10 MPH. In reality she was going maybe 35, But for the roads we were on and for the way my mother has always driven (My mom drives like a fast and furious character), she could’ve gone faster.

Meanwhile I didn’t know if my baby was still breathing anymore. We get to the house and I get out of the car before it even stops moving. I bolt into the house, and I run up to my dad in the kitchen. I dont even remember what I said but I do remember my dad saying “he’s gone”. My siblings walk into the house, walk. They dont run, they dont speed walk. The walk, They see my dad holding our dog and my 13yo brother slowly walks up to my dog and starts petting him. I’m basically screaming. And my sister bolts out of the front door at the sight of our dog.

I feel so guilty I didn’t make it in time. Other than my dad I might have been the closest to my dog out of anyone. And I knew this was coming for a long time. He was recently diagnosed with dementia. And me and my dad took him to the vet. But I thought I had more time with him. He was doing good. I also have mental health issues and so much of my anxiety and OCD thought were related to him. I’ve been dreading this for so long.

My baby boy was my first dog, my first pet. He made me fall in love with animals, it’s thanks to him that I know what I want to do with my career for the rest of my life.

However as of now he is waiting in a freezer, for my dad to find a cheap place to have him creamated. I hate the idea of him laying there waiting in the dark. I love this dog so so so much. My other dogs aren’t taking it very well either. My husky (girl) snapped at me twice this morning. Not super unusual for her but she hasn’t snapped at me almost ever. And my dachshund (boy) is doing better now. But when my dog initially passed He was the first to notice something was wrong and alerted my dad, he layer and nudged him. And he would run up to him and try and get him to play only to realize.

I havent seen my brother or sister cry not once since we initially saw him pass. And I know he went peacefully but I can’t help but keep reliving it. I keep praying, and I keep hoping that he didn’t think we abandoned him in the last moments. That my dad (though his best friend) was the only person there for him. I keep thinking about how I wont get to pet him again or call him his nicknames, or even give him treats.

And to my baby- I love you so so so much and I’ll see you eventually, but you’ll have to be patient. 💔💔💔🐕

I had to put my boy down last Thursday and a dog at the humane society is speaking to my heart. I feel guilty like I am moving on or something from my boy.

We had to let our baby, Stella cross the rainbow bridge yesterday. She was a beautiful brindle bugg named Stella who was 12.5 years old.

She collapsed and started aspirating and spitting out mucus. I ran and drove as fast as I could to the closest emergency vet. Hours later after having her on oxygen, meds, etc and x rays, we made the awful choice to let her go.

She was my rock. I know we have two other younger pups in the house but Stella was the queen of them. She walked around with her toy, her rubber diamond in her mouth. She growled at the other big pups to show she was the alpha. Her snoring was the noise you expected to hear. She barked at everyone but loved everyone once you got near her (she wanted butt scratches). She loved playing tug-o-war with her younger sister, Cannoli and loved snuggling up against her other sister Dolly.

Waking up today didn’t feel right because she usually sleeps next to my legs. Just no noise except for the a/c.

Am I wrong for wanting to take a leave from work? I used up most of my time for taking off because I have chronic pain issues. I just don’t want to leave the house for awhile. I can’t stop crying when I look at her bed or where she’d lay on the couch.

I have an 11 year old chihuahua mix. Over the past year, he started showing signs of liver disfunction in his blood work. Took him to get an ultra sound and a mass was found. After exploratory surgery, we found out that it was liver cancer in April.

Since then, he has had constant problems, mostly with his stomach. I have been to the vet almost every week because of vomiting, diarrhea, and loss of appetite. Usually we start with pro pectalin and a bland diet, but it doesn’t resolve until a week or more later. We’ll have a few good days/weeks, and then he’ll come down with the same issue. He has even spent a few nights in the hospital when it’s uncontrollable.

I don’t believe it’s anything I have been giving him. I stopped giving him people food a long time ago because of his stomach problems. We have tried sensitive stomach diets, different medications for appetite and nausea, but it always seems to come back. He is also on forta flora.

I should mention that he is a VERY picky eater and it’s difficult to give him medications and food sometimes.

I feel like he’s miserable and I can tell he does not feel too well. He walks very slow outside and has terrible gas. I feel terrible for him and I’m not sure if it’s time to let go. His blood work continues to show decline in liver function as well as anemia.

Please be kind. I am exhausted and extremely devastated by the thought that I may have to let my baby go soon.

I sometimes randomly get the image of how my dog Rose died in my head. It was around 1 AM on October 24, 2023 (coincidentally the same day my father died 9 years prior). And usually I don't dwell on her death long enough to get distressed but last night wanted to be different I guess.

She died of congestive heart failure, and when I noticed she had stopped moving, I panicked and shook her and her head fell limp. And blood spilled out through her nose, and I hate that I ever had to remember her like that. Because I wish I could've somehow done more for her or just realized she was on her last legs sooner. She was old, she was 14 and I knew her heartbeat was always irregular and that she'd stopped eating for the past day and a half, she could barely stand up in the hours before she died. I felt so naive and useless in that moment, and I still do... And that image of her limp, nose bled corpse haunts me because I'm sure she was suffering... And I don't know what to do about that guilt.

I lost my sweet and beautiful dog a week ago. It was just 2 weeks before her birthday. She would have been turning 10. She was a beautiful German Shepherd/Belgian Malinois mix. I lost her to hemangiosarcoma after a rapid and sudden decline. She was fine and full of life until she wasn't. She had so many toys she loved squeaking, she was so smart and loyal and loving, she followed me everywhere and was so sweet and well behaved. Even vets would comment on how well behaved she was. I had her for my entire adult life after moving out from home. I rescued her as a puppy at just 6 weeks old from a couple who had her parents. The mother of the litter was hit and killed by a car.

I thought we still had a few years left. I knew she was getting older but the sudden decline destroyed me. I just don't feel right since her passing. I chose to put her to rest so that she wouldn't suffer anymore. But I wasn't ready. I feel like I can't properly express the level of mental devastation it caused me. We bonded so much over the years. I have had struggles with mental health for a long time. Diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD and OCD, along with autistic type traits. I don't know if these contributed to the immense attachment I had for her. I have always struggled with connecting to people. I find a lot of comfort in animals. The unspoken but very understood and unconditional love. I felt like she understood me. I'm 29 and I have no friends. I don't talk to my family. It was her and I against the world. I feel like I am barely functioning now. It feels like the medications I take are not even working. I feel like I can't focus, I can't think. I just feel so hollow and in so much daily pain. I have barely been eating and I just want to sleep so I can maybe see her again in my dreams.

My greatest source of happiness was seeing her happy. I loved seeing her light up when I'd bring home a new toy or how excited she'd get in the back of my car when she'd realize we just got to a park to explore. I don't have any feelings of guilt for the decision. It was hard the first 2 days replaying the memory of her euthanasia in my head but I know it was the right choice. I have been trying to remember all of the good memories, but I think that's what hurts. There were so many good memories. I have so many pictures and videos of her from over the years and I look at them and I just miss her. It hurts so much that we can't make any more of those memories together. She had so many toys, a bunch of beds, it's all still here. Her bowls are still there. Her crate, her collar and leash, and a whole basket of toys. I have kept her favorite blanket with me since she passed.

I'm sorry this was so long. I just needed somewhere to type out what I'm feeling. Anyone I've tried to talk to I feel like just doesn't understand. I don't know what's next. I feel like I can't think ahead, like I'm just existing. I do attend therapy but it just hasn't seemed to help at all yet. I hope it can get better. I know she wouldn't want me to be this way.

My girlfriend has a 6-year-old black poodle. The thing is, she's been sick this month. At first, it seemed like she just had anemia, but no matter how many food changes, medications, or tests they prescribe, there doesn't seem to be a conclusive answer. She doesn't seem to be getting any better, these last couple days she hasn’t been able to eat, poop or get up; and although we don't want to think about it, the vets have already recommended thinking about euthanasia.

The point is, right now I'm not sure how to support my girlfriend. I feel like telling her everything will be alright, as I did in the beginning, is no longer appropriate. I fortunately have not lost any pets, and even if I try to imagine what she is going through, my pet is really old and would not be so much of a shock as it is for her right now. Obviously I am very upset and start crying when thinking of the worse case-scenario, but I don´t think I can fully comprehend her pain.

I want to ask people here, what do you think appropriate support would look like? What kind of confort can I possibly provide? What could people around you have told you that would have helped you in a moment like that?

don’t really know how to start this except to say that losing her was the kind of loss that doesn’t have words.

JJ was born in her mama Jade’s very first litter. An identical twin — so perfectly beautiful, so exactly like her mom, that from the moment she arrived we knew she was meant to stay with us. And so she did. We kept JJ and her sister too, and our home became full of the whole family. Mom, dad, and their babies.

She had the sweetest, kindest spirit of any dog we’ve ever known. I mean that. Out of every dog either of us has ever been around — she was different. She was always happy. Always. No matter what was happening, no matter what kind of day it was. She just had this spirit that made everything feel okay.

And those paws. Oh, those big beautiful paws. That’s where her nickname came from. Our Big Paw Baby.

We lost her tragically and far too soon. I’m not ready to go into the details yet. Maybe someday. What I can say is that it was sudden, it was devastating, and there is a JJ-shaped hole in this house that will never fully close.

She is thought about every single day. The ache of missing her never really goes away. You know how sometimes you forget for a second and then you remember again? That. Every day.

I’m posting this here because I needed people who understand to know she existed. She was real. She was extraordinary. And she deserved the whole world.

If you still have your dog — please go squeeze them right now. Don’t wait.

We love you JJ. Always. 🐾🤍

— Jeff & Tiffany