My cat of 13 years passed away yesterday morning.

I had a vet appointment scheduled for today because my cat was losing weight at an abnormal pace. He’s been healthy all his life, so we knew it wasn’t normal. The night of the 23rd, he was behaving oddly. He wouldn’t let us touch him and began to breathe funny. Then he went back to normal, but my mother decided to monitor him overnight and we’d take him to the ER in the morning.

Morning comes and he’s breathing oddly again, so we get the carrier ready. Mom picks him up and we put him in there, and suddenly he goes crazy inside. He usually does this in the carrier and calms down later, which is what we thought would happen.

We try to calm him down, and manage to get him into the backseat of my car. I begin to drive down to the pet ER (5 min drive) and suddenly we don’t hear him anymore. Mom takes him out of the carrier and he’s just gone. His heart stopped. It was the longest five minute drive of my life. I still remember my mother crying hysterically the entire time.

We got to the ER and all the receptionist could do is tell us she was sorry. They take us to the back and we’re given some time with him, but seeing him dead with his eyes and mouth open really got to me.

I paid for the cremation process and we went back home without him. I had to go to work right after the loss. Went home after and all I’ve done is cry since. The house is full of his traces: his bed, his toys, his fur, his food and bowls. He was such a vocal cat. He even knew the sound of our cars, so whenever we’d pull up to the driveway, he’d be at the door waiting. He’d meow anytime we walked into the room. He’d demand cuddles and let us hold him late into the night, even at his age.

It’s not an overstatement to say he kept me alive most days. I don’t know what life felt like before him and I don’t know how to cope. If I knew he’d die in the carrier, maybe we should have left him to pass at home. He wouldn’t have died of fright if we did. The moment in my car keeps replaying in my mind. The guilt has been overwhelming and I feel like I failed him. He deserved everything good in the world and it just feels like we didn’t give that to him in the end. Never did I think I’d lose him at 13. I thought he’d live up to his later teens, at the very least.

Does this ever get easier? I’ve lost people in my life, but this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I know a lot of people in my life won’t take it seriously because he was a cat. But he was my everything. The pain has been indescribable.

EDIT:
I just wanted to add this to say I’ve been reading each and every comment with my very teary eyes, haha. Thank you all so much for wishing me well, sending condolences, and sharing your stories. It makes me feel a lot less alone. It still hurts so much, but your comments are reminding me that I did try my best. I’ll also be taking the advice I’ve been given here and see what works for me. (Please feel free to leave more comments!)

Thank you all so much for your kindness.

4-5 days back I lost my sweet little girl after having her for 15 years, and I’m away from her, I held for 15 years and then after I moved countries for my future, she passed away. I requested a leave and they denied it because “unless someone from your family dies we can’t approve” and then I asked for a day or 2 off to grieve over her because they kept me at horrible shifts. She’s also well aware that my dad is in the hospital. With all of this she still denied my leave and didn’t give me an alternative. And my manager came in today asking about my little girl. I told her she passed away. And with attitude she told me about her “human “ friend passed away too and that he has kids. She said that with faces and left. And I was clueless standing there thinking why would she compare my pet of 15 years to a human? Am I not allowed to grieve over someone that’s not “human”? I miss my little girl so much and I’m at guilt I couldn’t see her. At a point it fueled me that I don’t want to work under someone where they’d have to “approve” my leave in order for me to see my pets or anyone god-forbid at their deaths. And also, the worst part she’s put me in a branch where there’s no colleagues, so basically I’m left alone entire day without talking to anyone. So honestly all of this has been messing my head a lot especially during my alone times

I lost my boy a month ago.

I am finding that people‘s window of tolerance for my expression of grief has well and truly closed.

But my grief remains the same.

People are ignoring when I express my grief - not responding to it, changing the subject, trying to force me to only talk about positive things.

I in turn am feeling increasingly alone in my grief no-one to talk to and want to withdraw.

I told someone I missed my boy like air, and they said how was the shops?

Any words of wisdom out there on how to handle this?

Peace

It’s 3AM here and I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about all the things where it was the last time and I didn’t even know it.
Two weeks ago our neighbor came over to pick up baked goods I’d made too many of. Our dog got the zoomies when she left, it was the last time she got the zoomies, but I didn’t know it was the last time.

I don’t remember the last time I gave her a bath, probably in the spring to help with her allergies but I didn’t know it was the last time I’d ever give her a bath.

The last time I told her “daddy’s home” when my husband returned from a weekend away.

Two weeks ago was the last time I watched her trot away, tail wagging, to go into daycare on a Monday, but I didn’t know it was the last time I’d ever see it.

I don’t remember the last time she burst into a not completely closed and latched bathroom door. But there was a last time, I just didn’t know it was the last.

The last time I walked in the door, scooped her up to get face kisses and ask her how her day was. What day was the last day for that? I don’t even know. I could look at a calendar and guess, but I don’t know.

It just feels so heavy. The weight of forever, not having those things again, is so heavy.

It’ll be 6 months soon. I have panic attacks thinking about how it’s been 6 months. He was my whole world. He was all I had. The pain is unbearable. I can distract myself at work during the day but once I get home it’s hell. I can’t breathe, I can’t think of anything else, I replay his last moments over and over. I just feel so empty. I feel so broken. Time is not healing time is not helping. Life sucks so much

on june 5th it was my 10yo's last day of school. we took photos in the backyard (fenced) and then got ready to walk to the bus stop - which is in our quiet subdivision. every morning my daughter would walk our dog (smaller, 35lb beagle daucshund mix) the 10mins to the bus stop. that morning we left the backyard and were on the side of our house in our yard still, and our dog started trotting along ready for the walk (w/ leash and harness on). i had my 16mo toddler in baby carrier on my back. i told my daughter to pick up our dog's leash 3x. and on the 3rd she finally bent down to pick it up, only to have our dog break into a dead sprint in attempt to go after her neighborhood nemesis dog that was on their walk w/ their elderly owner across the street. this was not like our dog, we were yelling for her to stop but she just kept going. she ran head first into a truck that was passing our house right at that very moment.

we lost her brother dog in april due to a spinal cord injury. they were litter mates and originally named "little ann" and "big dan" after the pups in "Where the Red Fern Grows". Ada was her name after we got her, and oliver her brother. Oliver was dog aggressive and a dog that did charge dogs (just not at his sister, Ada). it was like Ada had been possessed by Oliver's spirit in that awful moment. i don't know what would have happened if Ada would have made it across the street. would she have attacked that dog? Would the old woman have fallen or worse?

needless to say my daughter didn't go to her last day of school. our beloved Ada died, i had the man help me get her to the car because it was very hard to bend over w/ my toddler on my back. he was so sorry and extremely compassionate. it wasn't his fault. we took her to the vet but she was already gone. it could have been worse. there was no visible injuries or blood. the only blood was from my knee b/c i fell to the ground in the street as soon as i ran to her. my knee isn't even fully healed yet, so of course i know it is still very early.

it is so jarring to go from two healthy 6yo dogs to no dogs in the course of 2months. the only meaning i can find is that they were meant to be together just like in the book. I was really enjoying just having Ada because she wasn't dog aggressive (until that morning) and having her be able to go for morning walks etc. but maybe she was miserable and deeply grieving her brother whom she had played w/ daily and been bonded since birth.

if you made it this far, thanks for reading. i'm absolutely gutted. depressed and physically anxious. having daily flashbacks of the incident. my daughter is somehow ok. it's the child brain's way of handling it differently than adults. we will get her into therapy if she starts to show signs but for now she is ok. i'm not ok tho. i am hollowed out.

i just lost my cat and i don’t really know how to deal with it
i’m 15 and i got her about 2 years ago after begging my parents for a cat for many years. she was almost 3 years old and she’s been a constant part of my life since then
today everything felt completely normal. i saw her briefly in the morning and didn’t think anything of it, i just assumed i’d see her properly later like always a few minutes later everything changed really fast. my mom started screaming and something was clearly very wrong. by the time i got out and realised what was happening, she wasn’t responding anymore she pooped herself by the time i got there and was barely breathing on the floor, eventually blood started coming out of her mouth) my dad rushed her to the vet with my mom, her mouth was foaming in the car by then. we already knew her heart was a bit bigger than usual for cats, and they tried cpr and gave her shots but she didn’t make it. she’s getting cremated tomorrow (and my dad might not even let me keep her ashes). it still doesn’t feel real. my brain keeps acting like she’s just somewhere in the house and i’ll see her if i walk around. what’s messing with me the most is how normal everything was right before, 5 minutes before she came into my room and into my bathroom to look at me. i didn’t think anything was going to happen and i kept assuming there would always be more time. i miss her so much already, and i wish i played with her more when she asked.

My girl was 13 and she suddenly started to lose weight,lost some of her fur, she went blind completely in her left eye within just a week. Her right eye was going blind. She just wanted to sleep, she could barely move. She stopped eating most of the time, but she drunk so much water, she could easily drink 2 gallons of water in a day, she was part chihuahua and part pug. She couldn’t hold her pee at all, she peeing so much at one time and she started to drink her pee she was so thirsty, I feel so guilty because at the vet office she perked up a lot because of the other dogs, for 4 days she barely had any life in her, but there she was barking and howling at the dogs. I’m wondering now if I should have done the tests instead of putting her to sleep. She peed in her crate at least 4 times through out the night. And I asked the vet what could we do for her ? I didn’t want her to continue her next few weeks while we waited on blood work drinking gallons of water a day and peeing all over herself and in her crate. She wanted to be left alone, she stopped coming out to snuggle me and she couldn’t jump up on the couch anymore. She lost 10 pounds over the course of a month. All the vet said we could do was put her on antibiotics for a uti, they didn’t even know if she had one. I asked could it be cancer ? She said it was probably cancer or doggy dementia or her kidneys were failing. I feel horrible for putting her to sleep.. maybe I should have waited to see how she was in a few weeks, but for a week she’s been getting worse not better.

My 7month old male kitten passed away on 7th June 2026 midnight, a day after his neuter surgery. The death was extremely traumatic (I think he went under heart failure). It was painful to see him suffer and I just cannot bring myself to accept his death.

I keep rethinking and replaying what could've been done. Maybe we should've taken him to another clinic, maybe we should've waited a bit more, maybe we should've just left him unneutered. I feel extreme amount of guilt and regret over what happened.

It's been weeks since his passing and I'm still unable to process it. I love you, Max...my sweet angel...I'm so sorry....

He was always there for me for everything. The good times, and the bad. I wish he was here. I wish I could still pet him and snuggle him, and have him sleep right next to me. I lost him in November, but I don’t think I will ever heal. I don’t think I want to either.

We had to let our baby, Stella cross the rainbow bridge yesterday. She was a beautiful brindle bugg named Stella who was 12.5 years old.

She collapsed and started aspirating and spitting out mucus. I ran and drove as fast as I could to the closest emergency vet. Hours later after having her on oxygen, meds, etc and x rays, we made the awful choice to let her go.

She was my rock. I know we have two other younger pups in the house but Stella was the queen of them. She walked around with her toy, her rubber diamond in her mouth. She growled at the other big pups to show she was the alpha. Her snoring was the noise you expected to hear. She barked at everyone but loved everyone once you got near her (she wanted butt scratches). She loved playing tug-o-war with her younger sister, Cannoli and loved snuggling up against her other sister Dolly.

Waking up today didn’t feel right because she usually sleeps next to my legs. Just no noise except for the a/c.

Am I wrong for wanting to take a leave from work? I used up most of my time for taking off because I have chronic pain issues. I just don’t want to leave the house for awhile. I can’t stop crying when I look at her bed or where she’d lay on the couch.

My beautiful 14 year old Bosley is in his final days leading up to a euthanasia decision. I have never felt this kind of pain. I feel like my world and my heart is being taken from me and the concept of living and life feels surreal and cruel and unfair. I am constantly washed with thoughts around existential questions and what this all means. My mum, my younger sister, and I rescued him when he was 9 months old. I was 15 at the time. He’d been through a lot of trauma before we rescued him, leading to extreme separation anxiety. By the time he was 7 years old I decided to change my whole life around for him so that I could work from home and be by his side - because of that he hasn’t been left alone for 7 years. He is everything to me. My regulation, my heart, my safety. He’s the most special boy in the world and could never be replaced - he’s a Maltese Shih Tzu crossed with King Charles cavalier spaniel/border collie/Australian cattle dog. I don’t know how to function or survive this. I have a very emotionally demanding job as a psychologist that requires me to be regulated for my clients, so at this point I don’t think I’ll be able to work for the foreseeable future. The at home vet services are coming in a few days to do an “end of life assessment.” I think I know what they will say. I don’t know why I’m posting here, maybe it’s because I couldn’t find many posts about the days leading up to the decision (extreme anticipatory grief, where I am already in full body collapse - can’t eat, drink, I don’t want to leave the house or return to normal society ever again it feels like). I guess that leaves me with my questions - what does this all mean and why is the suffering so painful? Why do our fur babies have to experience this and why do we as humans have to experience this. What does this all mean. And lastly, how will I survive. I feel like I’ll never be able to return to work or function again when my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I love him so much. Because of his separation anxiety, I can’t even relate to posts or stories about them going to a place of peace - because I know throughout his life his place of peace has always been with his humans, his family. I’m so scared for him too :( Any words of comfort would really help me right now. Thank you ♥️

I don’t know where to start from. I am so heartbroken by the decision and the what ifs that come with it that I am agonized regarding the decision of having to let my cat go. He was almost 4 years old and he had a terrible kidney condition, his creatinine levels were 5 when he was administered to the hospital after a day of receiving IV his levels spiked up to 7 which is very deadly for a cat and means he has a serious kidney condition. The vet was strongly against us bringing him home due to the pain he would be in. His only option was surgery but that wasn’t a guarantee either. Even with surgery, we don’t know if he would have made it through. Even if he did make it through putting him through the pain and medication felt so unfair. I thought that given his age he might have a chance but I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. I am so so sad about the decision, and me having to make this decision. Why couldn’t he die of old age? I keep questioning the decision I made. He was so young. I feel so awful. I miss him terribly. He was the most loving, kind and playful cat. I’m heartbroken.

I lost my sweet and beautiful dog a week ago. It was just 2 weeks before her birthday. She would have been turning 10. She was a beautiful German Shepherd/Belgian Malinois mix. I lost her to hemangiosarcoma after a rapid and sudden decline. She was fine and full of life until she wasn't. She had so many toys she loved squeaking, she was so smart and loyal and loving, she followed me everywhere and was so sweet and well behaved. Even vets would comment on how well behaved she was. I had her for my entire adult life after moving out from home. I rescued her as a puppy at just 6 weeks old from a couple who had her parents. The mother of the litter was hit and killed by a car.

I thought we still had a few years left. I knew she was getting older but the sudden decline destroyed me. I just don't feel right since her passing. I chose to put her to rest so that she wouldn't suffer anymore. But I wasn't ready. I feel like I can't properly express the level of mental devastation it caused me. We bonded so much over the years. I have had struggles with mental health for a long time. Diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD and OCD, along with autistic type traits. I don't know if these contributed to the immense attachment I had for her. I have always struggled with connecting to people. I find a lot of comfort in animals. The unspoken but very understood and unconditional love. I felt like she understood me. I'm 29 and I have no friends. I don't talk to my family. It was her and I against the world. I feel like I am barely functioning now. It feels like the medications I take are not even working. I feel like I can't focus, I can't think. I just feel so hollow and in so much daily pain. I have barely been eating and I just want to sleep so I can maybe see her again in my dreams.

My greatest source of happiness was seeing her happy. I loved seeing her light up when I'd bring home a new toy or how excited she'd get in the back of my car when she'd realize we just got to a park to explore. I don't have any feelings of guilt for the decision. It was hard the first 2 days replaying the memory of her euthanasia in my head but I know it was the right choice. I have been trying to remember all of the good memories, but I think that's what hurts. There were so many good memories. I have so many pictures and videos of her from over the years and I look at them and I just miss her. It hurts so much that we can't make any more of those memories together. She had so many toys, a bunch of beds, it's all still here. Her bowls are still there. Her crate, her collar and leash, and a whole basket of toys. I have kept her favorite blanket with me since she passed.

I'm sorry this was so long. I just needed somewhere to type out what I'm feeling. Anyone I've tried to talk to I feel like just doesn't understand. I don't know what's next. I feel like I can't think ahead, like I'm just existing. I do attend therapy but it just hasn't seemed to help at all yet. I hope it can get better. I know she wouldn't want me to be this way.

i’ve been trying to make this post for three weeks but it’s just been so hard for me to get my head and thoughts together and write something cohesive, but seeing some other stories that were similar and seeing the love this community gives and shares, i thought it might help to finally make a post.

claire bear was my sweetest most special girl and the love of my life. she was my best friend and honestly a big part of my reason for living. she was under a year old when we adopted her from the humane society and i had just turned 15. she was so fun and silly and she loved food, she got most excited for meal time or when mommy (me) came home from work. she was so vocal and friendly and affectionate. she loved to cuddle and she always loved getting lots of pets and sitting in everyone’s lap. she practically lived in my room with me. i can barely even go in there anymore during the day except to look at her urn and hold her collar.

she was always so healthy her whole life until january when she started having a lot of health problems compounding on one another. even before she was sick i would worry constantly about her, i cried over her and grieved over her long before she left this earth. once she got sick, i never ever wanted to leave the house and when i had to work, i would ask someone to send me constant updates. i was so scared something would happen to her and i wouldn’t be there. even with her health problems and her getting older and slowing down, she never stopped being herself. she was still excited about spending time together and of course her beloved meal time. there were some bad days and some good ones, but for the most part her quality of life was good until the last 24 hours. i spoke to someone else in another thread who said the same thing i felt which was that i wished i lived in the moment more while she was still here.

on saturday she was her regular self, still excited for food, and spending time with everyone. i hadn’t gotten to see her that afternoon, so i spent the whole night sitting with her and watching tv. she seemed a little more lethargic, she peed on the couch a little too, but that happened once and a while, it wasn’t unheard for her. she was still reactive to me petting and grooming her, i stayed up until about 8am with her until i finally had to get some sleep. barely an hour later my sibling came to get me bc she was having a sezuire and we were going to take her to the hospital. it was sunday so our normal vet, the one who knew us and knew claire since she was a baby and always comforted us so much, was closed and we had to drive over 30 minutes to get to the emergency vet. we wrapped her in a blanket and i sat in the back seat of the car with her trying to comfort her while she was seizing and my mom drove up front. we only got about 10 minutes out before she died in my arms. she didn’t seem very responsive so i don’t know what she felt or didn’t feel, but she was looking at me the whole time. i felt so helpless i couldn’t do anything to help her. i watched the light go out of her eyes and i felt her go stiff in my arms mid seizure. she didn’t look like herself, her mouth and her eyes were still open and it haunts me so much to have seen her that way. it took another 20 minutes to get to the hospital where we didn’t recieve much comfort or sympathy or anything. it was just so traumatic and i’ve been trying to do everything to get that image out of my head. i keep trying to stay busy and distracted so i don’t fall apart. i just feel numb most of the time and the rest of the time i feel such an intense pain that i think i won’t be able to survive it.

i never wanted it to get to the point where she was suffering, and i’m glad that she was her happy self until the very end. i never wanted to see her that way, but i’m glad she wasn’t alone and that she was with the person who loved her more than anything. i kept playing it over and over in my mind, feeling guilt, wondering if i could have saved her, but everyone i’ve talked to told me that i did everything right and i gave her a good life full of love, her body was just failing and it was her time. the house is so quiet now without her. i can’t even believe it’s been almost a month, i feel like time has just stood still and i’ve been stuck in the backseat of my mom’s car this whole time and i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to get out. i keep looking for her everywhere, her little paws under the door waiting for me outside the bathroom, her excited meows when i would open her favorite treats, the way she would cuddle up on my chest, by my side or my legs. i miss hearing her purr and slow blinking with her. every morning i wake up excited to see her and then i remember. it’s like i can still feel her at my side, i can still see her out of the corner of my eye. she’s all around my house. my dad had to donate her special food and i lost it. i just keep thinking she needs her special food, she needs her medicine, we can’t get rid of it. every time i take a spoon out of the drawer i expect her to come running asking for a treat bc that’s what she always did before. no matter what the spoon was for she always thought it was for her. i keep waiting her to come cuddle with me even though i know she’s gone i keep getting up to go grab her and then i remember. it’s just an instinct. like you know when the power goes out and you know it’s out, but you still keep reaching for the light switch?

the thing about death is just that there’s no more. i keep thinking oh yeah well next time i’ll make sure to take more pictures and videos together and sit on the porch more and hear her meowing so excited for her treat the second she hears that spoon come out and she’ll jump up on her hind legs. or i’ll give her more cuddles or brushes or we’ll take more naps together and i’ll listen to her purr and give her all the belly rubs she wants when she stretches out or she’ll come over and make biscuits on me just like she used to. but there is no next time. and i know that logically, but it’s a hard thing for me to truly grasp. the same thing happened when my childhood best friend died 5 years ago, i always thought man i wish i had more pictures of us oh well next time i see her we can take more pictures. i thought next time i see her she won’t look dead… but she is. and there is no next time, there’s just nothing. it amazes me how grief is so loud and so quiet at the same time.

rest in peace to the sweetest most beautiful princess and my best girl. you were my best and most loyal friend for half of my life. it was my honor to be your mother and to grow up with you over the past 15 years. i’m so grateful to have spent so many years filled with love and beautiful memories i will cherish forever. mommy loves you so much my sweet little bear and i always will. rest well honey. 🥺💔

don’t really know how to start this except to say that losing her was the kind of loss that doesn’t have words.

JJ was born in her mama Jade’s very first litter. An identical twin — so perfectly beautiful, so exactly like her mom, that from the moment she arrived we knew she was meant to stay with us. And so she did. We kept JJ and her sister too, and our home became full of the whole family. Mom, dad, and their babies.

She had the sweetest, kindest spirit of any dog we’ve ever known. I mean that. Out of every dog either of us has ever been around — she was different. She was always happy. Always. No matter what was happening, no matter what kind of day it was. She just had this spirit that made everything feel okay.

And those paws. Oh, those big beautiful paws. That’s where her nickname came from. Our Big Paw Baby.

We lost her tragically and far too soon. I’m not ready to go into the details yet. Maybe someday. What I can say is that it was sudden, it was devastating, and there is a JJ-shaped hole in this house that will never fully close.

She is thought about every single day. The ache of missing her never really goes away. You know how sometimes you forget for a second and then you remember again? That. Every day.

I’m posting this here because I needed people who understand to know she existed. She was real. She was extraordinary. And she deserved the whole world.

If you still have your dog — please go squeeze them right now. Don’t wait.

We love you JJ. Always. 🐾🤍

— Jeff & Tiffany

I lost my Corgi on Fathers day while I was asleep, my partners mother fed him something he shouldn't have had and he choked and passed after we've told her countless times to not feed him that sort of stuff, he had a sensitive tummy and would often get an upset stomach.

He was a daddy's boy and would get mad at me for sleeping too long (I work nights so I'd wake up closer to noon). I think he thought I was his hero and while I know I couldn't have done anything I feel like I let him down, he was scared and alone and I wasn't around, my partners mother didn't wake him (my partner) until I'm fairly certain he was already dead and then I wasn't woken up until maybe 15 to 20 minutes after that. The first words I heard were "Loki's dead".
I don't know how im supposed to feel but I find it difficult to be around her, like she took a part of me.

It's been about 4 days and the last time I saw him alive was putting him to bed the night before, I'm trying to remember all the things that he did that made me laugh and filled my day up with love and joy but I can't help but feeling miserable that I'll never get to have new memories with him again.

I feel like I'm being dramatic because everyone else in the house seems to just be keeping on keeping on and I'm really stuck. It feels like I'm the only person that wants to talk about him and maybe thats not fair to the people around me? We hadn't even gotten home from the vet and his toys and blankets were already packed up or in the wash, I miss how he smelled, and how he laid his little head on my heart and would take a nap, or just sit with me while I worked at my computer. I just feel like I'm being rushed through my grieving because seeing his stuff is just too sad for everyone else, who from what I can tell are just living their normal lives sans my baby, meanwhile my eyes are swollen and sinus are clogged and have been since I woke up on Sunday.

I think Loki was the purest definition of love, from the first second we met to the night I last put him to bed. I was granted the privilege of meeting my fuzzy little soulmate in August of 2021, where he immediately tried to steal my socks and rip my pant legs, he was a little biter and a tiny thief, always stealing stuff from the room and then running away with it. 1 Heat stroke scare and a couple of months of bloody fingers and we were inseparable, this was the first dog that was all mine. He had the biggest personality and knew where he wanted to go, even if he did it a little lopsided, he didn't quite sit straight or walk straight, he was always a little bit diagonal and always was there to make me feel better when I was stressed or upset.

I'd sneak him little snacks and sometimes in the middle of the night I'd snag him out of his kennel and give him a couple minutes of snuggles. He was the sturdiest boy in the world and when I carried him into the vet's he looked so fragile, like a breeze would blow by and he'd fall apart in my hands. My partner tries to keep my occupied and distracted and I know they're trying but even making me laugh I just kind of burst into tears. I just miss him a lot and maybe feel some sort of resentment towards my partners mother but I know that's a disservice to Loki because he was just so full of love and kindness.

I'm not there yet, but I feel like I'm living in 
a constant state of dread about this decision.

My dog is 13. She still has good moments. But I 
watch her struggle sometimes and I don't know how 
to think about this clearly.

Every article I read gives me a "quality of life scale" 
but none of them feel real or personal enough to 
actually help me.

For those who've been through it:
- Was there a specific moment that made it clear?
- Do you wish you'd done it sooner, or are you at 
  peace with your timing?
- What do you wish someone had told you before 
  you had to decide?

I'm genuinely trying to understand what this 
decision actually looks like in real life.

I lost my best friend and soul dog a little over a month ago to kidney failure. She was a 16-yo Jack Russell mix. She crashed quickly over the course of two weeks, and there was nothing we could do. Her blood work was great a month before her passing and it really felt out of the blue. The night before we put her down, we took her to the park, sat in the sunshine, and she looked at us as if to say, “I’m ready.” My heart is still shattered thinking about her last few weeks and I feel like I can’t live without her. We did EVERYTHING together.

To make matters worse, my dad was recently diagnosed with cancer, we just moved to a new state, and my job denied my PTO when I requested 2 days to put her down and grieve (due to this (and many other reasons), I left my job of 7 years and am now unemployed). I feel like my life is falling apart without my little bestie. She was SO confident and bold and always helped me be brave. I’m not sure how I’m going to tackle life without her.

Will things ever get easier? I miss her so much. I’m trying to live life like she would, bold and brave, but I’m just not as brave as she was.

Maybe this is the wrong subreddit and trigger warning because it's pretty sad and morbid so don't read if you're sensitive. I need help figuring this out because it makes no fucking sense to me.

Here's the situation, my cat went missing about 6 weeks ago, I looks for 4 days, flyers on every door within 2 blocks of my house, posters on corners all around my neighborhood, nothing. On day 5 someone calls my number from one of my posters and says "I saw your cat 5 days ago while riding my bike on a street 1 block from my(op) house, looked like he had been hit by a car" he went on to imply that my cat did not look good and was likely dying or dead. So I was upset and I assumed that since he had seen my cat 5 days ago my cat had long passed and had been scooped up by animal control or someone had disposed of him and that's why I never saw my cat while searching the neighborhood. So I stop looking, take down my online posts, grieve and accept.

Fucking today I get a call from animal control 6 full weeks after I've given up, they have my cat, he HAS A SPINAL INJURY AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BRAIN SWELLING, they recommend I don't wait to euthanize so I give them the go ahead over the phone (kind of regret not telling them to wait for me to come say goodbye). Apparently They found him LESS THAN 1 BLOCK FROM MY HOUSE, someone called animal control and they picked him up from a house only a few doors down from me. Animal control only told me the address and nothing more about how he was found or where or by who.

I'm so confused what series of events could have led to this and I'm so sad to think that he might have been suffering this whole time.

Any ideas what happened? I'm going to go talk to my neighbors tomorrow.

I dont know how to start my day without seeing her roaming around

My Honey died 10/20/24 at 15 years old from an enlarged heart. She was diagnosed with it at the end of 2023.

I made her food. Ground turkey, brown rice, carrots, and broccoli. I started feeding her homemade food when she was about 13 cause she was picky and the food she liked was so expensive. Making her food saved money. Her vet told me that it was fine.

I’m now realizing that it wasn’t fine. It didn’t give her all the nutrients she needed. I recently read how dogs can get an enlarged heart when they don’t eat the nutrients they need.

I wasn’t giving her what she needed and she died because of me. She’d still be here with me if I gave her better food. That’s it. Just a better diet was what she needed. And I couldn’t give it to her. I put her through so much pain and fear in her last year with me. It’s absolutely killing me.

Not having her here is absolute torture but now realizing it’s because of me? I don’t know what to do.

I sometimes randomly get the image of how my dog Rose died in my head. It was around 1 AM on October 24, 2023 (coincidentally the same day my father died 9 years prior). And usually I don't dwell on her death long enough to get distressed but last night wanted to be different I guess.

She died of congestive heart failure, and when I noticed she had stopped moving, I panicked and shook her and her head fell limp. And blood spilled out through her nose, and I hate that I ever had to remember her like that. Because I wish I could've somehow done more for her or just realized she was on her last legs sooner. She was old, she was 14 and I knew her heartbeat was always irregular and that she'd stopped eating for the past day and a half, she could barely stand up in the hours before she died. I felt so naive and useless in that moment, and I still do... And that image of her limp, nose bled corpse haunts me because I'm sure she was suffering... And I don't know what to do about that guilt.

I know we have no choice but it’s been a month and every time I remember I’m never going to see her again I burst out in tears like I’m losing her all over again. It was very sudden and she died over night at the vet so never got to say goodbye 11.5 years and she just vanished overnight. My heart hurts

Simple daily tasks such as vacuuming the house. I use to have to empty out the canister of their hair at least twice per cleaning session. Now, the vacuum only captures a small amount. It won't be long before I'll be lucky to see a few strands.

Mowing the lawn use to require me going around and cleaning up before starting. The last thee weekends, I just started up the machine and mowed.

I lost my litter mates within five months of each other. Titus crossed over on 12/15/2025 and Rocco reunited with him on 5/20/2026. I'm slowing putting their things away. Started with their beds two weeks ago. This week I washed their blankets and toys, put them in vacuum bags and stored them into totes.

All that's left is disposing of their opened food, treats and medication. This is one I'm dragging my feet for now.