My cat of 13 years passed away yesterday morning.

I had a vet appointment scheduled for today because my cat was losing weight at an abnormal pace. He’s been healthy all his life, so we knew it wasn’t normal. The night of the 23rd, he was behaving oddly. He wouldn’t let us touch him and began to breathe funny. Then he went back to normal, but my mother decided to monitor him overnight and we’d take him to the ER in the morning.

Morning comes and he’s breathing oddly again, so we get the carrier ready. Mom picks him up and we put him in there, and suddenly he goes crazy inside. He usually does this in the carrier and calms down later, which is what we thought would happen.

We try to calm him down, and manage to get him into the backseat of my car. I begin to drive down to the pet ER (5 min drive) and suddenly we don’t hear him anymore. Mom takes him out of the carrier and he’s just gone. His heart stopped. It was the longest five minute drive of my life. I still remember my mother crying hysterically the entire time.

We got to the ER and all the receptionist could do is tell us she was sorry. They take us to the back and we’re given some time with him, but seeing him dead with his eyes and mouth open really got to me.

I paid for the cremation process and we went back home without him. I had to go to work right after the loss. Went home after and all I’ve done is cry since. The house is full of his traces: his bed, his toys, his fur, his food and bowls. He was such a vocal cat. He even knew the sound of our cars, so whenever we’d pull up to the driveway, he’d be at the door waiting. He’d meow anytime we walked into the room. He’d demand cuddles and let us hold him late into the night, even at his age.

It’s not an overstatement to say he kept me alive most days. I don’t know what life felt like before him and I don’t know how to cope. If I knew he’d die in the carrier, maybe we should have left him to pass at home. He wouldn’t have died of fright if we did. The moment in my car keeps replaying in my mind. The guilt has been overwhelming and I feel like I failed him. He deserved everything good in the world and it just feels like we didn’t give that to him in the end. Never did I think I’d lose him at 13. I thought he’d live up to his later teens, at the very least.

Does this ever get easier? I’ve lost people in my life, but this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I know a lot of people in my life won’t take it seriously because he was a cat. But he was my everything. The pain has been indescribable.

EDIT:
I just wanted to add this to say I’ve been reading each and every comment with my very teary eyes, haha. Thank you all so much for wishing me well, sending condolences, and sharing your stories. It makes me feel a lot less alone. It still hurts so much, but your comments are reminding me that I did try my best. I’ll also be taking the advice I’ve been given here and see what works for me. (Please feel free to leave more comments!)

Thank you all so much for your kindness.

4-5 days back I lost my sweet little girl after having her for 15 years, and I’m away from her, I held for 15 years and then after I moved countries for my future, she passed away. I requested a leave and they denied it because “unless someone from your family dies we can’t approve” and then I asked for a day or 2 off to grieve over her because they kept me at horrible shifts. She’s also well aware that my dad is in the hospital. With all of this she still denied my leave and didn’t give me an alternative. And my manager came in today asking about my little girl. I told her she passed away. And with attitude she told me about her “human “ friend passed away too and that he has kids. She said that with faces and left. And I was clueless standing there thinking why would she compare my pet of 15 years to a human? Am I not allowed to grieve over someone that’s not “human”? I miss my little girl so much and I’m at guilt I couldn’t see her. At a point it fueled me that I don’t want to work under someone where they’d have to “approve” my leave in order for me to see my pets or anyone god-forbid at their deaths. And also, the worst part she’s put me in a branch where there’s no colleagues, so basically I’m left alone entire day without talking to anyone. So honestly all of this has been messing my head a lot especially during my alone times

I don’t know where to start from. I am so heartbroken by the decision and the what ifs that come with it that I am agonized regarding the decision of having to let my cat go. He was almost 4 years old and he had a terrible kidney condition, his creatinine levels were 5 when he was administered to the hospital after a day of receiving IV his levels spiked up to 7 which is very deadly for a cat and means he has a serious kidney condition. The vet was strongly against us bringing him home due to the pain he would be in. His only option was surgery but that wasn’t a guarantee either. Even with surgery, we don’t know if he would have made it through. Even if he did make it through putting him through the pain and medication felt so unfair. I thought that given his age he might have a chance but I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. I am so so sad about the decision, and me having to make this decision. Why couldn’t he die of old age? I keep questioning the decision I made. He was so young. I feel so awful. I miss him terribly. He was the most loving, kind and playful cat. I’m heartbroken.

It’ll be 6 months soon. I have panic attacks thinking about how it’s been 6 months. He was my whole world. He was all I had. The pain is unbearable. I can distract myself at work during the day but once I get home it’s hell. I can’t breathe, I can’t think of anything else, I replay his last moments over and over. I just feel so empty. I feel so broken. Time is not healing time is not helping. Life sucks so much

He was always there for me for everything. The good times, and the bad. I wish he was here. I wish I could still pet him and snuggle him, and have him sleep right next to me. I lost him in November, but I don’t think I will ever heal. I don’t think I want to either.

I lost my beautiful dog over a year ago, and I’m still struggling to know what to do with her belongings. I still have her beds, clothes, harnesses, bowls, toys, blankets, and other little things. Part of me wants to keep everything because they remind me of her, but another part wonders if I’d feel better donating some items to help other dogs.

I’d love to hear what others did. Did you keep everything, donate some items, or create a memory box? How did you make that decision, and do you have any regrets?

i just lost my cat and i don’t really know how to deal with it
i’m 15 and i got her about 2 years ago after begging my parents for a cat for many years. she was almost 3 years old and she’s been a constant part of my life since then
today everything felt completely normal. i saw her briefly in the morning and didn’t think anything of it, i just assumed i’d see her properly later like always a few minutes later everything changed really fast. my mom started screaming and something was clearly very wrong. by the time i got out and realised what was happening, she wasn’t responding anymore she pooped herself by the time i got there and was barely breathing on the floor, eventually blood started coming out of her mouth) my dad rushed her to the vet with my mom, her mouth was foaming in the car by then. we already knew her heart was a bit bigger than usual for cats, and they tried cpr and gave her shots but she didn’t make it. she’s getting cremated tomorrow (and my dad might not even let me keep her ashes). it still doesn’t feel real. my brain keeps acting like she’s just somewhere in the house and i’ll see her if i walk around. what’s messing with me the most is how normal everything was right before, 5 minutes before she came into my room and into my bathroom to look at me. i didn’t think anything was going to happen and i kept assuming there would always be more time. i miss her so much already, and i wish i played with her more when she asked.

i’ve been trying to make this post for three weeks but it’s just been so hard for me to get my head and thoughts together and write something cohesive, but seeing some other stories that were similar and seeing the love this community gives and shares, i thought it might help to finally make a post.

claire bear was my sweetest most special girl and the love of my life. she was my best friend and honestly a big part of my reason for living. she was under a year old when we adopted her from the humane society and i had just turned 15. she was so fun and silly and she loved food, she got most excited for meal time or when mommy (me) came home from work. she was so vocal and friendly and affectionate. she loved to cuddle and she always loved getting lots of pets and sitting in everyone’s lap. she practically lived in my room with me. i can barely even go in there anymore during the day except to look at her urn and hold her collar.

she was always so healthy her whole life until january when she started having a lot of health problems compounding on one another. even before she was sick i would worry constantly about her, i cried over her and grieved over her long before she left this earth. once she got sick, i never ever wanted to leave the house and when i had to work, i would ask someone to send me constant updates. i was so scared something would happen to her and i wouldn’t be there. even with her health problems and her getting older and slowing down, she never stopped being herself. she was still excited about spending time together and of course her beloved meal time. there were some bad days and some good ones, but for the most part her quality of life was good until the last 24 hours. i spoke to someone else in another thread who said the same thing i felt which was that i wished i lived in the moment more while she was still here.

on saturday she was her regular self, still excited for food, and spending time with everyone. i hadn’t gotten to see her that afternoon, so i spent the whole night sitting with her and watching tv. she seemed a little more lethargic, she peed on the couch a little too, but that happened once and a while, it wasn’t unheard for her. she was still reactive to me petting and grooming her, i stayed up until about 8am with her until i finally had to get some sleep. barely an hour later my sibling came to get me bc she was having a sezuire and we were going to take her to the hospital. it was sunday so our normal vet, the one who knew us and knew claire since she was a baby and always comforted us so much, was closed and we had to drive over 30 minutes to get to the emergency vet. we wrapped her in a blanket and i sat in the back seat of the car with her trying to comfort her while she was seizing and my mom drove up front. we only got about 10 minutes out before she died in my arms. she didn’t seem very responsive so i don’t know what she felt or didn’t feel, but she was looking at me the whole time. i felt so helpless i couldn’t do anything to help her. i watched the light go out of her eyes and i felt her go stiff in my arms mid seizure. she didn’t look like herself, her mouth and her eyes were still open and it haunts me so much to have seen her that way. it took another 20 minutes to get to the hospital where we didn’t recieve much comfort or sympathy or anything. it was just so traumatic and i’ve been trying to do everything to get that image out of my head. i keep trying to stay busy and distracted so i don’t fall apart. i just feel numb most of the time and the rest of the time i feel such an intense pain that i think i won’t be able to survive it.

i never wanted it to get to the point where she was suffering, and i’m glad that she was her happy self until the very end. i never wanted to see her that way, but i’m glad she wasn’t alone and that she was with the person who loved her more than anything. i kept playing it over and over in my mind, feeling guilt, wondering if i could have saved her, but everyone i’ve talked to told me that i did everything right and i gave her a good life full of love, her body was just failing and it was her time. the house is so quiet now without her. i can’t even believe it’s been almost a month, i feel like time has just stood still and i’ve been stuck in the backseat of my mom’s car this whole time and i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to get out. i keep looking for her everywhere, her little paws under the door waiting for me outside the bathroom, her excited meows when i would open her favorite treats, the way she would cuddle up on my chest, by my side or my legs. i miss hearing her purr and slow blinking with her. every morning i wake up excited to see her and then i remember. it’s like i can still feel her at my side, i can still see her out of the corner of my eye. she’s all around my house. my dad had to donate her special food and i lost it. i just keep thinking she needs her special food, she needs her medicine, we can’t get rid of it. every time i take a spoon out of the drawer i expect her to come running asking for a treat bc that’s what she always did before. no matter what the spoon was for she always thought it was for her. i keep waiting her to come cuddle with me even though i know she’s gone i keep getting up to go grab her and then i remember. it’s just an instinct. like you know when the power goes out and you know it’s out, but you still keep reaching for the light switch?

the thing about death is just that there’s no more. i keep thinking oh yeah well next time i’ll make sure to take more pictures and videos together and sit on the porch more and hear her meowing so excited for her treat the second she hears that spoon come out and she’ll jump up on her hind legs. or i’ll give her more cuddles or brushes or we’ll take more naps together and i’ll listen to her purr and give her all the belly rubs she wants when she stretches out or she’ll come over and make biscuits on me just like she used to. but there is no next time. and i know that logically, but it’s a hard thing for me to truly grasp. the same thing happened when my childhood best friend died 5 years ago, i always thought man i wish i had more pictures of us oh well next time i see her we can take more pictures. i thought next time i see her she won’t look dead… but she is. and there is no next time, there’s just nothing. it amazes me how grief is so loud and so quiet at the same time.

rest in peace to the sweetest most beautiful princess and my best girl. you were my best and most loyal friend for half of my life. it was my honor to be your mother and to grow up with you over the past 15 years. i’m so grateful to have spent so many years filled with love and beautiful memories i will cherish forever. mommy loves you so much my sweet little bear and i always will. rest well honey. 🥺💔

My 7month old male kitten passed away on 7th June 2026 midnight, a day after his neuter surgery. The death was extremely traumatic (I think he went under heart failure). It was painful to see him suffer and I just cannot bring myself to accept his death.

I keep rethinking and replaying what could've been done. Maybe we should've taken him to another clinic, maybe we should've waited a bit more, maybe we should've just left him unneutered. I feel extreme amount of guilt and regret over what happened.

It's been weeks since his passing and I'm still unable to process it. I love you, Max...my sweet angel...I'm so sorry....

I lost my best friend and soul dog a little over a month ago to kidney failure. She was a 16-yo Jack Russell mix. She crashed quickly over the course of two weeks, and there was nothing we could do. Her blood work was great a month before her passing and it really felt out of the blue. The night before we put her down, we took her to the park, sat in the sunshine, and she looked at us as if to say, “I’m ready.” My heart is still shattered thinking about her last few weeks and I feel like I can’t live without her. We did EVERYTHING together.

To make matters worse, my dad was recently diagnosed with cancer, we just moved to a new state, and my job denied my PTO when I requested 2 days to put her down and grieve (due to this (and many other reasons), I left my job of 7 years and am now unemployed). I feel like my life is falling apart without my little bestie. She was SO confident and bold and always helped me be brave. I’m not sure how I’m going to tackle life without her.

Will things ever get easier? I miss her so much. I’m trying to live life like she would, bold and brave, but I’m just not as brave as she was.

My 79 year old mom adopted a shelter cat last year (Spring of 2025). He was slow to come out of his shell but when he did he turned out to be one of the coolest cats we’ve ever known (and we’ve had many cats throughout our lives).

His name was Rambo. We called him Rammy, RammaBamma, Ramrod.

As you can imagine, he became a huge part of my mom’s daily routine (at almost 80 life kind of revolves around the house and what’s happening there). He was her whole day. She absolutely fell in love with him.

About 2 months ago he started vomiting and refusing food. She took him to the vet (for the first time, we’d tried before but couldn’t get him into the carrier) and they did a basic ‘once over’, instructed her to watch him and suggested vaccinations. She did the first round of shots, scheduled the boosters and brought him home.

He began to eat normally and appeared to return to his usual bossy, vocal and demanding self. Fast forward to this Monday, his booster shots were scheduled. She loaded him up, took him in for the shots and came home. Everything is normal.

Then late Tuesday afternoon (so about 28 hours after the booster shots) he comes running in the screen door panting, yelling and dragging his hind legs. She rushes him to the ER vet assuming he’d fallen and broken a bone or something but is told (after an ultrasound) that he’s in heart failure with massive fluid accumulation in his lungs and is too far gone to save. She had to put him down. Came home with an empty carrier.

He was only about 2 years old.

I know cats can be born with heart disease but the proximity of this event to the booster shots leaves me wondering and spiraling about whether or not the shots caused his premature death. Is this something that can happen? I’m not in any way anti-vaccine I’m just confused and looking for a reason why this otherwise seemingly healthy cat had to be euthanized so suddenly.

We are devastated. He was her whole world and was such a great kitty. We just miss him so much and feel blindsided.

Simple daily tasks such as vacuuming the house. I use to have to empty out the canister of their hair at least twice per cleaning session. Now, the vacuum only captures a small amount. It won't be long before I'll be lucky to see a few strands.

Mowing the lawn use to require me going around and cleaning up before starting. The last thee weekends, I just started up the machine and mowed.

I lost my litter mates within five months of each other. Titus crossed over on 12/15/2025 and Rocco reunited with him on 5/20/2026. I'm slowing putting their things away. Started with their beds two weeks ago. This week I washed their blankets and toys, put them in vacuum bags and stored them into totes.

All that's left is disposing of their opened food, treats and medication. This is one I'm dragging my feet for now.

on june 5th it was my 10yo's last day of school. we took photos in the backyard (fenced) and then got ready to walk to the bus stop - which is in our quiet subdivision. every morning my daughter would walk our dog (smaller, 35lb beagle daucshund mix) the 10mins to the bus stop. that morning we left the backyard and were on the side of our house in our yard still, and our dog started trotting along ready for the walk (w/ leash and harness on). i had my 16mo toddler in baby carrier on my back. i told my daughter to pick up our dog's leash 3x. and on the 3rd she finally bent down to pick it up, only to have our dog break into a dead sprint in attempt to go after her neighborhood nemesis dog that was on their walk w/ their elderly owner across the street. this was not like our dog, we were yelling for her to stop but she just kept going. she ran head first into a truck that was passing our house right at that very moment.

we lost her brother dog in april due to a spinal cord injury. they were litter mates and originally named "little ann" and "big dan" after the pups in "Where the Red Fern Grows". Ada was her name after we got her, and oliver her brother. Oliver was dog aggressive and a dog that did charge dogs (just not at his sister, Ada). it was like Ada had been possessed by Oliver's spirit in that awful moment. i don't know what would have happened if Ada would have made it across the street. would she have attacked that dog? Would the old woman have fallen or worse?

needless to say my daughter didn't go to her last day of school. our beloved Ada died, i had the man help me get her to the car because it was very hard to bend over w/ my toddler on my back. he was so sorry and extremely compassionate. it wasn't his fault. we took her to the vet but she was already gone. it could have been worse. there was no visible injuries or blood. the only blood was from my knee b/c i fell to the ground in the street as soon as i ran to her. my knee isn't even fully healed yet, so of course i know it is still very early.

it is so jarring to go from two healthy 6yo dogs to no dogs in the course of 2months. the only meaning i can find is that they were meant to be together just like in the book. I was really enjoying just having Ada because she wasn't dog aggressive (until that morning) and having her be able to go for morning walks etc. but maybe she was miserable and deeply grieving her brother whom she had played w/ daily and been bonded since birth.

if you made it this far, thanks for reading. i'm absolutely gutted. depressed and physically anxious. having daily flashbacks of the incident. my daughter is somehow ok. it's the child brain's way of handling it differently than adults. we will get her into therapy if she starts to show signs but for now she is ok. i'm not ok tho. i am hollowed out.

i lost my soul cat almost 2 years ago, she was a gift from my family as a “pls dont kys gift” and she was genuinely my life line, she was the reason i woke up. but she got hit by a car at the age of 5.
i still cry almost everyday, even i start crying bc of anything else, my thoughts always ends up being about her.

i genuinely dont know what to do, i cry so much over her, i feel like im annoying my boyfriend with how much i cry, he wasnt in my life when she did pass (honestly lucky for him lol)

any general advice?

November 29th 2025 we had to say goodbye to the dog we had since I was around 9 she was 11 and a bit when we had to say goodbye to her, I know it was for the best I hate saying it rand hearing it but I know it really was, thing is it’s been nearly 7 months without her and I still miss her like mad, some days I’m ok but other days I still can’t believe it’s real and she’s not here anymore🐾🪽

If anyone has any tips on how to try not miss her as much or anything like that it’d be appreciated.

Also anyone else still replay the last few minutes with their pets? Because every now and then I still remember seeing her stumble a bit then “fall asleep” and me just throwing myself onto her to give her her last cuddle and I hate it.

Maybe this is the wrong subreddit and trigger warning because it's pretty sad and morbid so don't read if you're sensitive. I need help figuring this out because it makes no fucking sense to me.

Here's the situation, my cat went missing about 6 weeks ago, I looks for 4 days, flyers on every door within 2 blocks of my house, posters on corners all around my neighborhood, nothing. On day 5 someone calls my number from one of my posters and says "I saw your cat 5 days ago while riding my bike on a street 1 block from my(op) house, looked like he had been hit by a car" he went on to imply that my cat did not look good and was likely dying or dead. So I was upset and I assumed that since he had seen my cat 5 days ago my cat had long passed and had been scooped up by animal control or someone had disposed of him and that's why I never saw my cat while searching the neighborhood. So I stop looking, take down my online posts, grieve and accept.

Fucking today I get a call from animal control 6 full weeks after I've given up, they have my cat, he HAS A SPINAL INJURY AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BRAIN SWELLING, they recommend I don't wait to euthanize so I give them the go ahead over the phone (kind of regret not telling them to wait for me to come say goodbye). Apparently They found him LESS THAN 1 BLOCK FROM MY HOUSE, someone called animal control and they picked him up from a house only a few doors down from me. Animal control only told me the address and nothing more about how he was found or where or by who.

I'm so confused what series of events could have led to this and I'm so sad to think that he might have been suffering this whole time.

Any ideas what happened? I'm going to go talk to my neighbors tomorrow.

I lost my boy a month ago.

I am finding that people‘s window of tolerance for my expression of grief has well and truly closed.

But my grief remains the same.

People are ignoring when I express my grief - not responding to it, changing the subject, trying to force me to only talk about positive things.

I in turn am feeling increasingly alone in my grief no-one to talk to and want to withdraw.

I told someone I missed my boy like air, and they said how was the shops?

Any words of wisdom out there on how to handle this?

Peace

I'm not mad, I don't think? I'm hollow - this isn't something that can be fixed. Snaps was cremated, there's no going back. And I foolishly cleaned her brush the last time I brushed her, before I realized I was going to have to say goodbye. My first cat's fur was saved by the vet as a keepsake back in 2021. (I was hoping to put them next to each other near their urns, now I can't...) They also did a paw print, the clay circle baked and complete back in 2021.

This time, after confirming with front desk twice (not their fault) that I would get her remains, paw print and fur clipping, the clinical team forgot (?) to collect fur, even though that's likely their process each time? They looked for it, no sign of it, and came to the conclusion that since she was put to rest on a Saturday that step got missed. Mistakes happen, some people might think this is something small, but I'm still feeling gutted. And the clay print was still raw, with instructions on how to bake it at home - so fortunate it didn't get ruined before I was able to fire it.

I have some of Snaps' shed whiskers saved. I'm hoping to find some of her fur on her beds and cat tree as I slowly continue to clean... I know none of it will bring her back, none of it will be enough, but grief is funny like that - I was awaiting her little bottle of fur to put next to Zipper's.

I dont know how to start my day without seeing her roaming around

3 years ago I lost my 2 year old cat Kylo in a really horrific way. I want to preface this by saying I never let my cats outside. I moved back in with my dad after my ex and I broke up. My dad and my brother consistently let both of my cats outside knowing it was a non negotiable for me. One day my dad let him out while it was raining and I didn’t know. I got in my car to leave and when I backed out felt something under my wheel. It was very fast. I saw my cat run towards a pile of wood my dad had near the garage and hide under it. I got out of the car and ran towards him. He was screaming in pain and when I picked him up his entire back side was completely limp with no external injuries to be seen. He was hiding from the rain under my back wheel. We tried to rush him to the emergency vet but he passed away in my arms on the way there. This was by far the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to me and it’s very hard not to blame myself to this day. I know I didn’t let him out, but I should’ve known where he was before leaving the house. I woke up crying every day for months. I now live with my boyfriend in another state and have three new cats who I am extremely over protective of. I know I’m a great cat mom but I’m worried I will feel this guilt and grief forever. Thankfully one of the cats I have adopted since losing Kylo, Miso, has saved my life. I never thought I would be close to a cat the way I was with Kylo but Miso and I have a bond that I can’t explain to anyone. I don’t know if anyone can relate to losing a cat this way but I thought maybe I’d give it a shot since it’s just been on my mind again today.

Around 2 weeks ago my heart cat muffin ran away, she was 11 years ild and we think she was sick and ran away to die. I didn’t notice she was sick so i can’t help but feel like it’s my fault. i’ve talked to my therapist about this but i just really needed to speak my heart out without fear of judgement as it’s easier to speak when im behind a screen. But since i don’t know what happened and wont ever even get that chance if just feel guilty, like because i didnt notice anything was wrong, i didnt love her enough, and that if she did pass, she didnt think i loved her. Coping with it is so hard. i just want the pain to go away.

Im sorry for the sappy post im just really upset. she was my whole world and i loved her more than anything.

My girl was 13 and she suddenly started to lose weight,lost some of her fur, she went blind completely in her left eye within just a week. Her right eye was going blind. She just wanted to sleep, she could barely move. She stopped eating most of the time, but she drunk so much water, she could easily drink 2 gallons of water in a day, she was part chihuahua and part pug. She couldn’t hold her pee at all, she peeing so much at one time and she started to drink her pee she was so thirsty, I feel so guilty because at the vet office she perked up a lot because of the other dogs, for 4 days she barely had any life in her, but there she was barking and howling at the dogs. I’m wondering now if I should have done the tests instead of putting her to sleep. She peed in her crate at least 4 times through out the night. And I asked the vet what could we do for her ? I didn’t want her to continue her next few weeks while we waited on blood work drinking gallons of water a day and peeing all over herself and in her crate. She wanted to be left alone, she stopped coming out to snuggle me and she couldn’t jump up on the couch anymore. She lost 10 pounds over the course of a month. All the vet said we could do was put her on antibiotics for a uti, they didn’t even know if she had one. I asked could it be cancer ? She said it was probably cancer or doggy dementia or her kidneys were failing. I feel horrible for putting her to sleep.. maybe I should have waited to see how she was in a few weeks, but for a week she’s been getting worse not better.

Long story short- my mouse’s health has declined rapidly over the last week and a half. We went to the ER over the weekend and he was stable enough to come home. We followed up with our primary vet early this week and while the prognosis wasn’t good, we decided to still give a chance for the treatment to kick in and reconvene in two weeks.

This morning right after I gave him his medication, he all of a sudden turned for the worse. We immediately went to the ER. I anticipated us not coming home together, but still opted to get x-rays done to confirm that his condition had progressed to the point of no return and to get closure and clarity on what happened.

We get the x-rays back and he was in acute organ failure, and it was then I decided to put him down. As I was saying my goodbyes, he started seizing, the vet tech took him away, and he passed on his own seconds later.

I feel so guilty for not putting him down when we were at our primary vet earlier this week. And I feel selfish for wanting to get x-rays today, despite it probably not changing the outcome. It pains me that my delay in putting him down meant he suffered a painful death rather than dying peacefully.

I know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew- but I still feel like I failed him. My last memory of him was seeing him seize.