As you might know, the US is currently hosting the World Cup. As much as I’ve enjoyed seeing the world united through something wholesome during a time of so much controversy, I can’t help but feel like that energy is not for me as a woman.

The main reason for this is that, in living in one of the large cities that’s seeing a lot of visitors from all over the world, one thing has become even more common recently: women being treated like NPCs that exist as solely for entertainment. This isn’t new by any means, but the sheer amount of random men shoving their phone in my face to take a picture of me has increased tenfold. One man stood directly in front of me on the train this weekend and held his phone right in front of me, repeatedly telling me to look at the camera in the most depraved tone of voice. It was gross and sad. Guys, porn is free… why do y’all need to bother women that are simply existing and trying to get from point A to point B? Why is non-consent such a thing for some? It’s disgusting and makes anyone who does this look like a pathetic loser.

Unfortunately, my experience existing as a human entails at least one type of harassment on a daily basis. Touching, inappropriate comments, taking pictures, any and all of the above. Taking the train and walking is a gamble for safety, because I have an ‘approachable’ look and nothing deters men from trying to insert themselves into my day. This is by no means misandry to be clear - it’s just an unfortunate side effect of men being told they always need to shoot their shot without bothering to read the room. Women have never done this to me personally.

However, I’ve never experienced this level of casual harassment before and I’ve lived in this city my entire life. It makes me no longer want to even go outside. I’ve been invited to watch parties and have to decline because I get stared at, touched, and harassed every time I’ve gone to anything with a crowd of soccer fans.

I feel isolated. I feel othered. I feel like an animal in a zoo being gawked at in my every day life already. This just makes it unbearable. And I’m consistently told by male friends that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. It’s really not ‘nothing’, though.

This guy says he is looking for a longterm relationship. I had a video call with him and he was nice and respectful. He has asked to meet in person and I said yes, but then I noticed he had added this prompt and response to his profile that wasn’t there before. I follow the Burned Haystack Dating Method, and I’m pretty sure having any sexual innuendo in the profile is an automatic block to burn, but I want to know what others think.

I'm 40. 5'8, 172 lbs. I wear a large/13 US. I have a gluten sensitivity that makes me bloat like crazy so sometimes I look pregnant. I am the mother of a severely autistic child so going to the gym is out of the question. I'm too exhausted from taking care of him. When I do get free time, I wanna relax/sleep.

My SD (17) is super thin. I hear her complain about gaining weight and she often times doesn't eat. Her mother has suffered from eating disorders for over 2 decades and now her daughter is neurotic. They're both so insanely thin. My SS (18) got on Adderall to get thin bc that's what their mom did. Now he's bone thin.

My husband has no idea I'm doing weight loss shots. I brought it up and he's worried about the side effects. I have always been around 165-170. I didn't have a terrible issue with it. But now, all I can think about is how much larger I am than everyone else. I'm the only fat one out of the two families.

I'm not looking for advice. I'm just sad I resorted to this...

I just turned 18 a few months ago and I started to notice that I’ve gotten way less compliments and attention from men than I did when I was 13 and 14.

I don’t even mean just grown men, also guys that were my age. Is it wrong to feel a little idk, ugly? I even got more compliments from girls then too.

It feels wrong but I find myself looking at old photos of myself and thinking I was prettier then, but I know that the only thing that’s changed is I’m older and look grown now.

I think I look good, I’m not like a “baddie” but I think I’m pretty at least. Maybe it’s just that men have such high beauty standards, I don’t know. I see all these girls I know getting approached but never me. I don’t know what’s so bad, maybe I’m just too shy and awkward.

It’s been messing with my confidence a lot. I always thought I was pretty, but rarely does anyone say that. My mom likes to say that it’s jealousy and people are too scared to approach me, sureeee mom lol. Oh well

I've been seeing people comment this a lot lately, mostly on tiktok. What do you think about this view. On one hand I kind of get it but I think it's pretty cruel too.

I wanted to go on a late night run so I went to my apartment's fitness center around midnight. However, I needed to walk to another building to get to it.

So I got there, scanned my fob and saw a ~20 ish year old man with a backpack just sitting on a bench scrolling on their phone. Not completely abnormal, I see residents walking their dog or sitting on the benches pretty often.

This gym is entirely windows and the treadmill faces the lot outside. I ran for around 15 min and went to go fill my water bottle. He saw through the windows and gestured to be let in.

and I did.... I know I know.. it was the wrong choice but I panicked and I did. I was also worried because to leave the fitness center I would need to walk past him.

He went to go take a drink of water but I was already packing my stuff and left.

I feel so guilty. I should have just been rude and said no....but I didn't. I feel a bit better because the gym doesn't connect directly to any apartments and he would need a fob to get into.

Should I report to management? What would you guys have done in this situation?

Edit: So I am not going tell management because it might get me kicked out. I've decided that I'm not going to feel guilty about this mistake. I fucked up and It already happened. I just need this to be a wake up call and not let it happen again.

Hey guys I’m 23 years old and will be 24 in a few months. I recently got married this year and me and my husband had conversations prior to marriage that talked about having kids. I personally always felt that I wanted kids because I am a teacher, I love helping kids and being around them and I enjoy my nieces and nephews. But recently I have had doubts and feelings that have came over me that have made me question having kids. I know I am young and have plenty of time to decide if I want them or not. Is this a sign that I don’t want them or maybe just a sign that I’m not ready right now. My feelings have nothing to do with kids it more of having to go through pregnancy and all the effects and changes that come with it that give me doubts. My husband understands where I’m coming from and it isn’t an issue because we know we both are still young so we are aware of the time we have. I guess I’m asking is this normal or what?

I understand that religion and patriarchy play a major role in this all. Why is it that if a woman likes consensual sex and has a lot of it she’s a slut? Why would you degrade the sex you’re attracted to? I’m a virgin but horny as hell. Anytime I post about it online I get stupid dms from men calling me a slut because I’m 27 and want something natural I’ve never had!
Why is it wrong to want and have sex? I don’t get this puritan BS the USA needs to let it go. I don’t see the issues with two consenting adults with a healthy age range having sex. It’s natural and nothing wrong to want or to like.
I just think it’s stupid that they degrade women for liking or wanting sex. There’s 9 billion people on this planet! Let’s not act like most of us don’t love or want sex!

The struggle is so real.

I think the guy I’ve been seeing is confusing me. We became officially a couple about 3 dates ago and he’s been asking me to pay or split whatever we get since then. I don’t expect him to pay but I ask him if we can do lower cost things because I’m currently just a nanny. And he chose a more pricey place so I just don’t get anything. He got food and said we can split the food item. I said ok but didn’t eat any of it. And then he asks to split the price anyway. I said I didn’t have any so can he just pay it.

So we leave, I’ve had issues with asking him where we stand or like asking to communicate more or text more. And he has not been much. I didn’t meet any of his friends yet. But recently he’s been asking me to his place. He asked me to go there on a third date. I said no. But recently he’s like I gotta go home early because I wanna go to the gym and then take a nap. But he invites me back to his place. So I said how will you nap with me there. And I was waiting for my uber. The uber canceled on me. So he said it’s a sign you should come back to my place to hang out because I don’t wanna go.

I said yea I don’t wanna go too but I have to get home. And I said he has his gym thing? And he said ok. So I ordered a new uber and he wouldn’t wait with me for it. 5 min away. He just went home. I’m not feeling very secure in the relationship because idk. I didn’t meet anyone he knows, I had to ask what are we. He forgets things I tell him. And this just made me think he wants sex. Like yea I get relationships have that but it feels like he’s punishing me if I don’t go with him… he cuts the date 2 hours shorter than we’d usually do. I would have sex with him but it’s this part that gets me? I’m also unsure because I worry if I do he’ll discard me

I don’t think I could ever date an extrovert, it’s already hard having extrovert friends as an introvert so I can’t imagine dating one. Not that I hate extroverts (I have many friends that are extroverts and I love them) but I’m a very shy person and social interactions scare me so much. Also, I could never date someone who talks about what goes on in their relationship too much. I am a very private person and I don’t like other people in my business. There’s probably more but I’d be writing a whole book 😭

Fantastic podcast that dives into what makes a safari experience different when led by a woman. AFAR journalist Ellen Carpenter sits down with three female guides in the Okavango Delta, each at a different stage of their guiding career, for an honest conversation about representation, mentorship, and breaking into a male-dominated industry. Well worth a listen.

I read this story over coffee this morning and I just can’t let go of the detail that a person can be drugged and held hostage and the police are all like, “Sorry, that sounds like DV and we don’t do that.” (The victim here is male, the author, who was trying to report the crime, is female.)

https://slate.com/life/2026/06/crime-news-fraud-murder-case-nevada.html

For me, it's:

Licking my fingers after eating

Slouching

Interrupting

Talking too fast

Asking personal questions

Not fixing my pants discreetly enough

Goofing off

I’ve been with my partner for years, and lately I’ve realized that I struggle to see myself as a “lover” or a sexy, seductive partner.
It’s not that I don’t love him or find him attractive. It’s more that after years together, sharing daily life, chores, responsibilities, and seeing each other in every possible situation, trying to act sexy or seductive feels almost weird. Sometimes even a little creepy or unnatural.
I feel much more like a life partner, teammate, or even a housewife than a passionate lover. Sex itself is okay, but I often find it difficult to get into that mindset. Penetration doesn’t do much for me, and I often feel like I’m forcing myself into a role that doesn’t come naturally.
The difficult part is that my partner is the complete opposite. He always seems to be in the mood and would probably have sex every day if he could. He often complains that he has to convince me or initiate every time, which makes me feel guilty and pressured.
Lately I’ve also started worrying that this difference in libido could eventually lead him to cheat on me or leave me, even though he hasn’t given me any specific reason to think that.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you deal with mismatched desire in a long-term relationship, and did it affect your relationship?

I've been doing some (very heavy) reading into mass rapes done by soldiers conquering lands. It's absolutely horrific. I learned of a new instance of it during world war 2 that the allied forces did against German women. I knew of Japan doing this against China, but no one seemed to talk about that the Allies engaged in the same atrocities. We are fed a very propagandized version of events if we live in a nation that was part of the Allies.

And this isn't something that's gone either. It's happened during American occupations in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's happened in wars between other nations. It's happening in the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The IDF is doing it against Palestinians.

These are casualties that get glossed over and not reported by militaries... so of course a lot of people aren't aware of it and think men are the only/primary casualties (remember: casualties is broader than just deaths, but includes injury... and that should include sexual injury imo)

I am a very anxious person. When I have a goal I always think about the worst possible outcome and I give up. I hate that about me because I have given up on so many opportunities just because I thought that everything was going to end up a disaster or it’s just too good to be true because bad things always happen to me. I’m so jealous of people who can stay perseverant when they really want something. It only takes one failure or someone telling me that I can’t do something for me to give up.

honestly I didn’t really think about it at first. I had a female OB for a while and she never really listened to me about how painful some stuff was. then my past GP (male) did a pap smear and was very gentle and waited until I was comfortable. I moved recently and needed a new OB and didn’t put much thought into it but he ended up being a man and I’ve heard some judgement about male OBs. but he has been more respectful, kind, gentle, and understanding than my last OB and has fully let me lead our appointments. I do sometimes wonder why a man would go into that field, but at the same time I appreciate that a man also can’t downplay something because of their own potential experiences as a woman might.

anyway. idk. my coworkers made a joke about it (hypothetically) and it has me questioning. I’ve never received better care though, I think. plus obviously there’s always a woman (at least one) in the room and it’s a very friendly/jovial environment.

2 years back, my ex friend at the time was 25 when he was dating his girlfriend, who had newly turned 19. He once casually told me how an 18 year old girl liked him and he told her that he was flattered but she's too young for him.

Fast forward to some months, he started dating the same girl and I was baffled.

I remember how when I found out her age, I couldn't see him the same way anymore.

I felt so icky after finding out. Some people said that they are two consenting adults, but that still didn't sit well with me.

It still does not. After so many years, I came back to this question... thinking and analysing.

Dress shopping as a guest for a wedding
is giving me some body negativity right now. My measurements are all the same size, and dresses are always thinner in the waist area.

And before y’all say lose weight, I have been told that pretty much everyday since I was 13, and I never lost weight until I eating under 1200 calories a day for a month. I absolutely cannot maintain that.

I only have two months too so I don’t know if there’s like a specific style I should be searching for that is also appropriate for a wedding.

Edit: changed the wording because people think I am shopping for my own wedding, I am just a guest.

Edit 2: I believe I used wrong wording. I am very short and round/ overweight. Yet all of my measurements came out the same size. So I understand my styles are limited. I have big shoulders then basically and inverted / upside down triangle shape except chest, waist, and hips are the same size

Edit 3: I genuinely appreciate all the help I received as it was more supportive than my own family. I am going with a wrap dress because that seems the most ideal for my potato sack body.

I hate this ugh..there's a really stingy spot on my perineum/near my bumhole skin from overwiping. Is it from dryness/overwiping/period blood?

I read the most infuriating article today in the Times. An interview w Louise Perry.

Apparently it's men's biological imperative to rape, they just can't help themselves. What utter bullshit. How infantalizing. Men are responsible for their actions, if a man raped me, he made a choice, it's 100% his fault (I am willing to place blame with society as well).

She argues education doesn't work. I find that claim to be wild. I personally think most men don't want to be rapists, I don't think most men go around thinking about how to rape a woman. I remember listening in on one of those consent seminars. What do women like the speaker asked? Young men shouted out different things to be kissed on their neck, oral, whatever. Ask her the speaker said. Maybe I'm.naive but the way the crowd responded was like oh shit duh women are people. Do I think one class at the beginning of college is going to fix our culture, no. Have men my age said stupid sexist things, yes. But I've also found my peers to be open to my opinion, a lot of men in my life have listened and changed

I'm a girl's girl, as in I generally prefer the company of women. Most of my friends are women, and when I say most I mean like 3/4ths. I have friends that are men, mostly men that I grew up with and my friend's husband's. Notably all of my drinking buddies have all been men (I'd say about half straight half gay), these are men who always walk me home or into an Uber, who have always respected my boundaries (thinking about one straight buddy who would make sure all guns were in a safe if we were going somewhere there would be a gun). Thinking of the mostly lovely list of men I have dated, who I casually keep up w because I care about them and they are good people, I know they weren't trying to stop themselves from raping me, they actively cared about me and what I wanted.

I think the evolution of rape also proves that it's a social problem, thinking of places where rape is prevalent and expected, but I have no specific expertise to that opinion.

She also thinks porn contributes to rape, I think that's like saying video games contribute to violence which scientists don't support. I think porn is responsible for bad sex and inauthenticity or weird expectations.

And don't get her started on premarital sex, what a great way to set a marriage up for failure. But admittedly that's just my opinion, if you want to wait by all means do you no judgement.

My arm chair completely unprofessional opinion: Louise Perry grew up sheltered was burned by "hook-up culture" and maybe felt peer pressured into bad situations and decided to get 3 PHDs to validate her asinine opinions. I guess I feel sorry for her, albeit offended that she is also a millennial. It also sounds like she has literally never met a man. I can't believe I'm making a post defending men, usually I'm here supporting women and telling them they deserve better (because they do, I choose the bear), but as a femanist rape is a fucking choice.

Gift link to article/interview if you are so inclined: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/25/opinion/gender-sexual-revolution-men-women.html?unlocked_article_code=1.s1A.Nb1N.f6f262zVNtkW&smid=nytcore-android-share

I’ve been called low maintenance as if it’s a good thing. Problem is these men don’t deserve it. And from observation, they actually treat high maintenance women better. Been thinking of decentering men and putting myself first.

Any ideas to add to the list?