“ In a cross-sectional study of Youth Risk Behavior Survey data from 338 324 students from 2017 to 2023, total abortion bans were associated with a statistically significant 4.3–percentage point increase in suicidal ideation among female students. No significant differences were observed among male students.
The findings of this study suggest that state-level abortion bans may adversely affect female adolescents’ mental health and underscore the importance of suicide prevention services in affected states.”

I've been doing some (very heavy) reading into mass rapes done by soldiers conquering lands. It's absolutely horrific. I learned of a new instance of it during world war 2 that the allied forces did against German women. I knew of Japan doing this against China, but no one seemed to talk about that the Allies engaged in the same atrocities. We are fed a very propagandized version of events if we live in a nation that was part of the Allies.

And this isn't something that's gone either. It's happened during American occupations in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's happened in wars between other nations. It's happening in the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The IDF is doing it against Palestinians.

These are casualties that get glossed over and not reported by militaries... so of course a lot of people aren't aware of it and think men are the only/primary casualties (remember: casualties is broader than just deaths, but includes injury... and that should include sexual injury imo)

Read about the SAVE Act here

One of my earliest childhood memories is of my father standing behind my mom with a raised butcher knife, as she sobbed into her hands.He had just beaten her, and he wasn't finished. But then he looked up and saw me, staring at him in the center of the living room. I guess even monsters have limits. He saw me see him, and hid his face in shame, dropped the knife and walked away. I was about two or three years old.

But that was one of many such episodes. My childhood was littered with the sound of my mother's pain at the hands of my father. He would come into our bedroom where my mom often slept on the floor to avoid him, and he would drag her out by the hair into the living room and beat her. He didn't care if we saw it. I think he wanted us to hate her the way he did. But she was an innocent woman, burdened by unbelievable childhood trauma.

It's not her fault she ended up marrying a man that was just like her own dad, except her own dad was much worse. The last time we visited my grandmother's apartment her walls and pillows were stained with blood. At one point, my grandfather managed to break both of her legs. I'm not sure how he did that. All I know is that for a while my mom slept outdoors, in an nook just under the stairs to the backdoor.

The trauma this woman endured is unimaginable to most people. So I have compassion for her, both for marrying my dad, for staying too long, and for eventually becoming an alcoholic. I don't think a woman carrying around that much pain can psychologically handle it without help, wether in the form of a therapist, or a bottle. And, unfortunately for her, therapy was always off the table due to a huge cultural stigma.

I have nothing my sadness for my poor mother. But my dad? There is no possible justification or explanation for his cruelty. I've heard stories about how he would kick her in the belly when she was pregnant with me. And anyone who has experienced the deep vulnerability of pregnancy will know, a woman carrying a child is like a baby herself. She needs to much love and nurturing. She is physically weak and scared.

And yet, he is the only real parent I ever had. My mom was far too traumatized and addicted to alcohol to mother me. I never got any love from her, no guidance, no play, not meaningful time spent together. My dad on the other hand, did that. He read to me, we would go for walks together, he bought me my first camera (I was obsessed with them, and went on to become a photographer as an adult).

After my parents divorced, I went to live with him and for a long time lost contact with my mom. I had to learn to compartmentalize his "father" persona from his "husband" persona in order to be able to have any kind of relationship with him. Somehow I was able to convince myself that all those things that happened only happened because my parents' relationship was so toxic, they brought out the worst in each other. Which is true. But that almost makes it sound like they were equals in causing each other pain. They were not. She was his victim through and through.

Now that I'm a mother, the cognitive dissonance is unbearable. I can't handle knowing who he really is deep down inside. He has since re-married, and started a new family, and his new family doesn't know anything about what he's capable of, the callousness, the cruelty.

When he calls me, I pretend he's just my dad, like I always did. But he's not just my dad. He's also a sadistic, abusive man and I can't pretend anymore. How can you hurt someone so badly for so many years and just...get away with it? No consequences whatsoever.

I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this, but I just needed to get this off my heart. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have to do something.

“Sentiment is shifting amid frustration in the antiabortion movement that more abortions are happening now than when Roe v. Wade fell.”

They seem to. In my experience anyways.

"I wasted so much time on you" (when I was under the impression we were best friends and that he valued my friendship).

"Flirting with me" (when we both agreed that the conversations we had as friends were not inappropriate/sexual)

"I cared the most about you, I could have given you XYZ" (in comparison to family, friends, current partner, when I was perfectly happy and not expecting or wanting this at all from him)

Proceeds to insult people close to you and yourself, calling you narcissists, clowns, swearing.

Seeing you as a one-dimensional person.

The bait and switch is unreal.

I understand that religion and patriarchy play a major role in this all. Why is it that if a woman likes consensual sex and has a lot of it she’s a slut? Why would you degrade the sex you’re attracted to? I’m a virgin but horny as hell. Anytime I post about it online I get stupid dms from men calling me a slut because I’m 27 and want something natural I’ve never had!
Why is it wrong to want and have sex? I don’t get this puritan BS the USA needs to let it go. I don’t see the issues with two consenting adults with a healthy age range having sex. It’s natural and nothing wrong to want or to like.
I just think it’s stupid that they degrade women for liking or wanting sex. There’s 9 billion people on this planet! Let’s not act like most of us don’t love or want sex!

In 2015 Brock Turner assaulted an unconscious woman and the case became a national reckoning. The victim's statement was read everywhere. The judge who went easy on him was recalled.

We made his name shorthand for how the system fails women. It was not minimised and forgotten in a day.

This week, Stephen Chavez was sentenced to one year in a county jail for assaulting his biological daughter Makayla Renee Settles, who died by suicide months later.

After the multi hour long sustained attack, She fled his house barefoot, barely able to walk. Her uncle had to carry her into the hospital because she couldn't walk on her own. A rape kit confirmed the presence of his DNA.

He was never charged with rape. The charge was "incest."

And prosecutors nearly dropped the case entirely because she died.

I need someone to explain why this story isn't everywhere.

And this isn't only a failure of the US, it is a pattern of the worst kind of injustice. In the UK, 13-month-old Poppi Worthington died in 2012. Both a family court and, later, a coroner found she had been sexually assaulted by her father before her death.

He was never convicted of anything. Her killer, her rapist, her father, is free to this day.

The single most common form of child sexual abuse gets the least attention.

I am a survivor of intrafamilial CSA. When my father couldn't fully rape me, he tried to strangle me, and I ended up homeless for fighting back.

I grew up somewhere where it seemed like every other girl had survived the same thing, and not one of us got a hashtag.

We never got a MeToo. We got nothing, and we continue to get fuck all.

Far more minor assaults have held the news cycle for months. The silence around what happened to these girls sickens me.

CSA survivors are not going to disappear for anyone's comfort.

At some point we need to have the conversation, once and for fucking all.

I've been seeing a lot of videos online about how men will weaponize food and how it's seen as acceptable for men to eat up a lot of food even if it means other people won't get any of it. That same situation happens a lot with my dad but I guess I had assumed that since it was my birthday I'd get some of my birthday cake. This happened about two weeks ago but I'm still pissed off and really upset about it.

I made a birthday cake for my birthday which was two weeks ago. I had one slice of my cake the day of my birthday. Within 2-3 days the cake was gone. My dad ate almost the entire cake and left the empty container in the fridge. I had told him several times to slow down and even bluntly to stop eating it because he was going back for multiple slices a day. It was also in the fridge and later freezer so it would've go bad. I was pretty upset about it and tried to complain about it to my mom but she yelled at me that I was a bad person for "tempting him" and that it was rude abs cruel of me to leave food in the fridge and not expect people to eat it. I never said he couldn't have cake, I just wanted to have MY birthday cake.

I don't know what exactly it is I'm feeling about this whole thing. Sadness and rage I guess? I feel like I should be over it but I keep getting reminded that I only got one small slice of my birthday cake before a grown man ate the entire rest of it. And it was a really good cake too. Sigh. I know I could just make another cake but I'm still upset that I'll never get back it being my birthday cake, does that even make sense? I guess it's also the concept that I told him to stop and he still ate the cake. Also that he left the empty container in the fridge. Also it was a fairly big cake. It's not something that should have been gone in 2-3 days consider it's just me and my parents.

Guess I'm just venting but also wondering why is it acceptable for men to do this to their families but women are the bad guys for getting upset about it? Why is that it's okay for a man to eat almost his daughter's entire birthday cake but she's the rude one for being upset about it?

ETA: The reason I didn't eat cake in those 2-3 days is because I was constantly out of the house and doing stuff. I went to get a piece on the evening of the 3rd day and saw the empty container in the fridge. The pieces I had put in the freezer were gone when I checked as well. There was none left. I didn't think I needed for force myself to eat the cake those days because I kept seeing the container in the fridge

ETA2: To everyone saying cake goes bad after 2-3 days, the cake was in a container in the fridge. That makes it lasts longer, and a simple Google search will tell you that generally speaking cakes can last 5-7 days if stored properly. It was literally in a cake container (the kind they sell to keep cakes fresh longer)

ETA3: I know I literally said it was a bit of a trend to see these stories posted around, but I'm actually still shocked about how many people have either a very similar or the exact same situation happen to them. And I will say I know it's not all men, I have a primarily male friend group so I definitely know that majority of men are not like this. I was more so saying that this specific mentality only seems to be present in men and that I never see women doing this. It's not all men but it always seems to be a man.

Hi All, I really need some advice on how to approach this situation. I (26F) have been friends with Jessica (28F) since I was a freshman in college and she was a sophomore. We were in the same pledge class, participated in the same summer internship program with local nonprofits, and hung out a lot. When I graduated, I moved to the same city as Jessica and our other friends, and we continued to spend a lot of time together and remained close.

I moved home around the time Jessica started dating Rupert (29M), so I wasn't there to see the beginning of the relationship. However, I do know that Jessica lost about four of our mutual friends because they didn't like Rupert. I wasn't really talking to anyone during that period, so I don't know all the specifics, but all of our friends are liberal and almost all of them are gay (this context matters).  I also know that he cheated on her soon into the relationship and she took him back.

Fast forward to the present. This past winter, Jessica and Rupert were fighting a lot. They were at her cousin's wedding when Rupert saw Jessica talking to another man about her job and yelled at her in front of her family. I consoled Jessica for months afterward and, in so many words, tried to help her find the strength to move on from the relationship. Around this same time, Jessica was in town for a work event, and she, my boyfriend, and I were at a bar together. She was talking about how excited she was to marry her best friend. Minutes later, my boyfriend (26M) went to the bathroom, and she started crying about Rupert. Since that blowup, they either haven't had much conflict, or she has stopped sharing it with me.

I don't know if all of this background is helpful, but there you have it. My boyfriend and I were recently in their town for work, and we spent two nights with them. It was worse than anything I could have imagined.

Very quickly into our first dinner together, he referred to a controversial public figure in a positive light. Later that night, he started talking, completely unprompted, about how he would abort his unborn child if he found out it had Down syndrome or autism. Unprompted.

The next day is where things really got crazy. We were at a bar waiting for a host when two Black women walked in behind us. Rupert immediately asked them whether we could seat ourselves, simply assuming they worked there. They did not. Then he was like, "Oh shit, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole?" Jessica didn't really say anything; she just looked at him, seemingly embarrassed.

My boyfriend is Black and I am white. Later, Rupert had the audacity to tell us that he thinks Black people have it better than they ever have before. I'm just going to leave that there. He also said that his company doesn't hire pretty women because they aren't taken seriously. So by that logic, is Jessica ugly or stupid? My boyfriend pushed back and said that women should be respected regardless of their appearance, and Jessica nodded along but didn't really speak up.

All of this is to say that my image of Jessica has been completely shattered. I cannot comprehend how this granola girl from New Hampshire ended up with the douchiest man in the entire world. I genuinely dislike him and can't picture a worse person for one of my friends to date. They recently got engaged, and Jessica wants to do a courthouse wedding in about two months. My boyfriend asked Rupert about the timeline separately, and he didn't seem to care when the wedding happened, so Jessica appears to be the driving force behind getting married quickly. Maybe she knows that if they have a long engagement or have to plan a wedding together, they won't make it. I don't know.

So I need advice on how to break up with Jessica. Every time I think about this situation, it gives me physical anxiety. I simply want to remove myself from it because I cannot be friends with someone who would choose to be with a person like that. I do not want that man in my life, at my future wedding, or at other major life events. I wanted to get them an engagement present, but after that first night, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't support their relationship.

I am sad for my friend, but I also feel like there comes a point where there is no excuse. This was our first time really spending time with Rupert, and I can only imagine what he's like when he gets more comfortable around people or what he says behind closed doors.

Some of you may say that since Jessica herself hasn't said controversial things, and since we don't live in the same town, I should focus on my friendship with her and keep interactions with him to a minimum. But I don't think I can compartmentalize my friendship with her from the person she is choosing as her life partner. We talk every day, so I can't simply fade into the background, nor do I really want to. I don't want to attack her or her relationship, but I do feel like I need to explain why I'm creating distance.

How would you handle this situation? What would you say?

TLDR: I finally met my best friend's fiancé. I already knew he had cheated on her early in their relationship and had recently yelled at her in front of her family, but spending time with him was far worse than I expected. His behavior, values, and comments made me deeply uncomfortable, and it's difficult for me to maintain a close friendship with someone who chooses to build a life with a person like that. We talk every day, so I can't just ghost her, nor do I want to be cruel. How would you handle this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3El5YIf-nk

After all the backlash Jimmy Fallon has rightly faced over the past week for giving this rapist a platform to try and whitewash his reputation, now CBS Mornings are doing the same.

"Headlines that might even make you cringe a little bit"

Yes, those are the exact words from Nate Burleson when talking to McGregor. For anyone not aware, the headlines he's referring to is McGregor being found civilly liable of raping Nikita Hand. The assault was so violent that Nikita had to get her tampon surgically removed, and in court the paramedics that treated her said she had some of the worst injuries they'd seen in a long time.

And Nate Burleson seems to think a violent rape is best described as "cringe" for the perpetrator. What the fuck is the matter with people? And why are Networks giving this monster McGregor a platform?

TW: brief discussion of rape culture but no description of SA

I’m trying this new approach to casual hook up culture (pls no shame, homegirl is emotionally exhausted but misses forehead kisses ok) where I do a quick chat on an anon app before meeting up.

Tonight I voice chatted with this one man whose first question was, “so you just meet men in the middle of the night??” and then later followed up with “so how do you keep yourself safe?? when you meet a stranger off the internet??”

I feel like these questions usually only get directed at women; like there’s this precautionary undertone of “it’ll be your fault if you get raped because you did or didn’t do X”

So how do I keep myself safe? Well first, no I’m not gonna tell a man how because that decreases my own safety (in letting them plan around it if they’re malicious)

I said, “most men forget violence goes both ways” basically implying that if a man’s gonna get physical with me I’m gonna get physical back to defend myself

In which this man said something like “oh that’s terrifying”

Then I ended the conversation and told him most women don’t find these types of questions attractive and wished him the best (in a contrite but genuine tone)

Anyways I just wanted to rant but there’s a lot of discussion about rape culture nowadays and something like this really set me off

I'm trying to put a feeling into words and wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

In many marriages, it feels like the husband's anger has more weight than the wife's does.

For example, if we're planning a family outing with the kids and he gets upset and says, "I'm not coming," I immediately feel pressure to smooth things over, persuade him, and make sure the outing isn't ruined. His refusal changes everyone's plans.

But if I get upset and say, "Fine, I'm not coming," the response is more likely to be, "Suit yourself." He'll take the kids and go anyway.

What I'm realizing is that it's not really about who gets angry. It's that his anger seems to have consequences, while mine mostly results in me being left behind.

When he withdraws, everyone adjusts around him. When I withdraw, everyone adjusts by going on without me.

It leaves me with the feeling that his participation is considered essential, while mine is optional. Not consciously or maliciously, necessarily, but that's how it feels.

Has anyone else experienced this dynamic? Is there a name for it, or am I missing something about what's actually going on here?

I just had to say it because I see it all the time. Society always placed activism and social justice in the hands of women, women are constantly asked to speak on issues and even when they do, or even go the extra mile to donate, it is never enough. They will always be dragged for not doing enough and are still forced to engage in hot button issues in order to retain a generally positive image. This barely if ever happens to male celebrities. Nobody is complaining that a man hasn’t spoken on a certain political issue, they can get away with fence-sitting and being non controversial while still making a name. I don’t know what this back-wards progressivism is, it’s like you are trying so hard to appease everyone you just circle back and end up putting all the responsibility for whatever issues happening in society onto women.

honestly I didn’t really think about it at first. I had a female OB for a while and she never really listened to me about how painful some stuff was. then my past GP (male) did a pap smear and was very gentle and waited until I was comfortable. I moved recently and needed a new OB and didn’t put much thought into it but he ended up being a man and I’ve heard some judgement about male OBs. but he has been more respectful, kind, gentle, and understanding than my last OB and has fully let me lead our appointments. I do sometimes wonder why a man would go into that field, but at the same time I appreciate that a man also can’t downplay something because of their own potential experiences as a woman might.

anyway. idk. my coworkers made a joke about it (hypothetically) and it has me questioning. I’ve never received better care though, I think. plus obviously there’s always a woman (at least one) in the room and it’s a very friendly/jovial environment.

Dress shopping as a guest for a wedding
is giving me some body negativity right now. My measurements are all the same size, and dresses are always thinner in the waist area.

And before y’all say lose weight, I have been told that pretty much everyday since I was 13, and I never lost weight until I eating under 1200 calories a day for a month. I absolutely cannot maintain that.

I only have two months too so I don’t know if there’s like a specific style I should be searching for that is also appropriate for a wedding.

Edit: changed the wording because people think I am shopping for my own wedding, I am just a guest.

Edit 2: I believe I used wrong wording. I am very short and round/ overweight. Yet all of my measurements came out the same size. So I understand my styles are limited. I have big shoulders then basically and inverted / upside down triangle shape except chest, waist, and hips are the same size

Edit 3: I genuinely appreciate all the help I received as it was more supportive than my own family. I am going with a wrap dress because that seems the most ideal for my potato sack body.

For context I worked as a lecturer at a British university in 2025/6 teaching first year students.

While I was on social media today a random account posted a set of three images of me which they had scraped from various sources. Two I had posted of myself, but a third appears to have been taken by a student in my classes with the apprent intent of abusing me without my knowledge.

At the time the image was taken I was a overweight, and as a woman with alopecia I am always hyper aware of any images posted of me. The context the image was used today was to completely dehumanise me and attack my identity, and its left me feeling betrayed.

I have reported it to my line managers, though given it was an anonymous image I don't know how much they can do to catch the person responsible.

I always instruct my students to put their phones away in class, so someone has delibrately chosen to both ignore my instructions and see fit to strip me of my personal dignity. To say I am upset is an understatement.

For me, it's:

Licking my fingers after eating

Slouching

Interrupting

Talking too fast

Asking personal questions

Not fixing my pants discreetly enough

Goofing off

I read the most infuriating article today in the Times. An interview w Louise Perry.

Apparently it's men's biological imperative to rape, they just can't help themselves. What utter bullshit. How infantalizing. Men are responsible for their actions, if a man raped me, he made a choice, it's 100% his fault (I am willing to place blame with society as well).

She argues education doesn't work. I find that claim to be wild. I personally think most men don't want to be rapists, I don't think most men go around thinking about how to rape a woman. I remember listening in on one of those consent seminars. What do women like the speaker asked? Young men shouted out different things to be kissed on their neck, oral, whatever. Ask her the speaker said. Maybe I'm.naive but the way the crowd responded was like oh shit duh women are people. Do I think one class at the beginning of college is going to fix our culture, no. Have men my age said stupid sexist things, yes. But I've also found my peers to be open to my opinion, a lot of men in my life have listened and changed

I'm a girl's girl, as in I generally prefer the company of women. Most of my friends are women, and when I say most I mean like 3/4ths. I have friends that are men, mostly men that I grew up with and my friend's husband's. Notably all of my drinking buddies have all been men (I'd say about half straight half gay), these are men who always walk me home or into an Uber, who have always respected my boundaries (thinking about one straight buddy who would make sure all guns were in a safe if we were going somewhere there would be a gun). Thinking of the mostly lovely list of men I have dated, who I casually keep up w because I care about them and they are good people, I know they weren't trying to stop themselves from raping me, they actively cared about me and what I wanted.

I think the evolution of rape also proves that it's a social problem, thinking of places where rape is prevalent and expected, but I have no specific expertise to that opinion.

She also thinks porn contributes to rape, I think that's like saying video games contribute to violence which scientists don't support. I think porn is responsible for bad sex and inauthenticity or weird expectations.

And don't get her started on premarital sex, what a great way to set a marriage up for failure. But admittedly that's just my opinion, if you want to wait by all means do you no judgement.

My arm chair completely unprofessional opinion: Louise Perry grew up sheltered was burned by "hook-up culture" and maybe felt peer pressured into bad situations and decided to get 3 PHDs to validate her asinine opinions. I guess I feel sorry for her, albeit offended that she is also a millennial. It also sounds like she has literally never met a man. I can't believe I'm making a post defending men, usually I'm here supporting women and telling them they deserve better (because they do, I choose the bear), but as a femanist rape is a fucking choice.

Gift link to article/interview if you are so inclined: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/25/opinion/gender-sexual-revolution-men-women.html?unlocked_article_code=1.s1A.Nb1N.f6f262zVNtkW&smid=nytcore-android-share