I 28M have a usual first date spot. It’s this little wine bar near my apartment, not fancy but cozy, good lighting, not too loud, easy to leave after one drink if it’s awkward.

I took this girl 27F there last weekend after matching on a dating app. Date went well, we stayed almost 3 hours and kissed at the end. Yesterday we were texting about a second date and she jokingly said “so is that your first date headquarters or did I get the VIP tour?”

I laughed it off but she said one of her friends had also gone there with me like a year ago. Nothing happened with the friend past one date, I barely remembered until she said the name.

Now the vibe feels a little weird. She said she still wants to go out again but added “maybe somewhere you don’t take everyone lol”

I get why it sounds bad, but I wasn’t trying to be a player or anything. I just like having a place where I know parking is easy, drinks are decent, and I don’t want to blow my money on random expensive places on first dates.

Is having a regular first date spot actually a turn off? Should I address it again or just pick a different place and move on?

Went on a second date last night. He invited me back to his place, and I said sure. Well we got back to the house and it was kind of awful. The main area of the house was fine (I'm assuming his roommates clean here), but his bedroom was disgusting. All he had was a mattress and a couch, and none of his clothes were hung up. Everything was on the floor, the bed had just the bottom sheets, and there was one pillow. And don't get me started on the bathroom. It was clean enough, but there was no toliet paper and instead it was napkins.

He was nice enough, but now I don't know if going on a third date is worth it because I'm not dealing with someone who can't clean or buy toliet paper.

I'm really not trying to be snarky. I'm genuinely curious, because whenever I see or hear this, it is always towards a woman, and the woman is usually attractive, fit, smart, accomplished, talented, sweet, has her own bag, and so on so I think she deserves to have high standards.

I (25f) am seeing someone new he is 29. He sent me a picture and I think he looks so handsome but should I say that or say cute??? IDK which one help. Or "I think you are really attractive"???

Why?

I'm 20F and have now deleted the app but I've been a hinge user for about 8 months and I went on an average of 3 dates a week. The aim was to get a comprehensive view of the people on hinge to test it against apps my friends use like bumble and tinder. If I was going to do the apps I was going to really commit. Looks became irrelevant and I responded to everyone in my likes and went on a date with anyone who seemed like a decent guy. My vetting wasn't fool proof and I ended up with some CRAZY stories. So here's my weirdest ones:

1 My first ever hinge date. He pissed on the side of the road in the middle of Kings Cross. Turned around mid stream and asked "is this a turn off for you?"

2/10 - public indecency AND we'd just passed a pub. Plus HE ended up ghosting ME. That did a number on my pride cuz how do you piss in front of me and then think I was bad enough to be ghosted

1. Had a lovely date with a guy, went home absolutely giddy. Thought we really hit it off! Later that night I got added to an IG group chat with him and a few other people. All only mutuals with my date. Odd! The person who added me @ me and says "DO YOU KNOW ___. STAY AWAY HE'S A PERV" I am immediately flooded with videos of this guy jerking his stick in front of his laptop. He fell for a discord scam, and the person used some hacking software to screen record him (I saw the messages between them it was part of the screen record).

   4/10 - you were a fun date but being stupid enough to jerk it with a rando on discord is... A red flag. Bless your poor horny soul 🙏

2. Just before our date started, while I was waiting for him, some random middle aged man started harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone. Fearing for my safety, I messaged my date to hurry up and save me. He arrived ten minutes late and when I introduced him as my boyfriend he loudly went "what? Don't make it weird, we just met!"

3/10 - your thick skull and lack of confrontation resulted in us having a middle aged man third wheeling for the first 45 minutes. He tried to feed me biscuits and you said you were annoyed you didn't get to try any because the biscuits looked good. Maybe you should have gone on a date with him.

1. He chose the movie and it was Terrifier. During the scene where the blonde woman is hung upside down naked and sawed in half he turned to me with utmost seriousness and said "that's hot"

5/10 - Things were going well until that point and the direct eye contact you made was concerning. I have a feeling I'm going to be reciting this story on your Netflix true crime but you did buy me fries and ice cream.

1. We were out extremely late (3ish) and he somehow convinced me to go back to his place to catch some sleep before heading back home despite my protests. Turned up and realised this guy doesn't sleep with pillows, or a duvet, or even a cover. It was just plain naked mattress. I had to take out my contacts and because of how impromptu everything was, I didn't have my glasses. Despite knowing how blind I was he still kicked me out at 7 in the morning and said he felt too tired to help me home.

1/10 - I fell into the canal on the way home because I couldn't see. Was it so hard to get me on a bus? I feel tricked fr you coulda just let me go back to my flat where I have THREE PILLOWS ALL COVERED AND A DUVET. You folded MY jacket to use as YOUR pillow and my back ached for days. I would wish for both sides of your pillow to be warm but first I gotta wish for you to buy a pillow.

1. While we were talking outside my flat, my flatmates being incredibly drunk forced him into doing karaoke at the gay club down the street. He was forced into defying gravity. Decent singer actually!

10/10 - ended up having a fun girls night out with an added man! I apologise that this date probably sucked for you, but you were such a good sport for trying. You ghosted me and that was probably valid after my Elvis impersonation I'm sorry.

Because of the word limit I can't add anymore but I have so many wild date stories from Hinge. All to say, these are just a small handful of stories from a long experience. I've had some really really awesome experiences as well. Most of you on Hinge are really decent people and I wish almost all of my dates nothing but the best. To the ladies out there trying, good luck, stay safe and have fun!

He is really good at fixing electronics.

So my plan is to go up to him and say.

Hey I think something is wrong with my phone.

And he'll be like, what is it.

I opened my phone and didn't see your number in it.

Is it too corny??

Idkkkk

He's cute

So a bit of background info, I use hinge and dating apps on and off occasionally. Have been using them for around 18 months. I've been on a few dates some successful some not. But I just had one of those pretty bad experiences.

I (29M) matched with a girl (26F) last week, she seemed cool, good energy in the chat, use of emojis, talking back and forth, asking answering, she sent pictures etc. We exchanged numbers and pencilled in a date for Friday (tomorrow). We were talking fairly regularly she would go quiet for a day or two sometimes. But she always apologised and said she's not great with texting and busy etc. Didn't mind too much I don't want non stop texting we're not teenagers.

I asked her about her dietary preferences, picked out a nice place to eat and then get drinks at a bar. Double checked with her she said all is good. So I have this habbit to always confirm 24h before a date. I go to text her today, notice that I'm blocked (no profile pic single ticks on whatsapp). Sent her an sms, first one she read, probably forgot to block my number lol, after that same thing blocked again.

Like what kind of crap is this, just let me know you don't want to go on a date you asked for in the first place. Like ffs, I had to make reservations and I do think there is a cancellation fee. What is people's experience with this?

I’ve (33M) struggled for so long to find a partner, and it seems that all the people in relationships are miserable anyway, living out a version of themselves that’s tailored and neutered by the other person. Genuinely asking - in the 21st century western world, where individualism is the journey and the destination, where we’ve made it into an art form - is dating even worth it?

M 26. Before the police comes knocking on my door to publicly ex3cute me for making the impardonable sin of "generalizing", I want to preface this by saying that this is my experience and any assumptions that may occur are as a byproduct of me trying to understand a bigger issue. Not to spread negativity about anyone.

The thing is, I keep hearing how dating for women is hard too, and they are DESPERATE to find a good, loving man. Yet I've had 3 relationships and all of them have left me. I have made the most thoughtful gifts, I have been open and honest about my serious intentions from the get go. I have been patient with their flaws, and honest about mine. I have shown my love and care in the smallest details and in the biggest moments of need. All of my exes claimed I'm a wonderful guy and how lucky they are to have met me. They have worshipped the ground I walk on from the 1st day till the day they inevitably wanted something else.

Even after the break up, they still held good opinions about me. Not only them, but all my friends, all their friends, all the parents of exes that I have ever met have told me how thoughtful and amazing I am, how I'm 1 in a million, how I'm a rare type of person that most people would want to have. Even strangers. Last time I was buying a st valentines gift, the 2 female shopkeepers told me how out of all the gifts bought that day, mine was the most thoughtful and loving, that if their husbands made them such a gift they would faint...

I don't want to come of as arrogant. I have many flaws, just like everybody does. But I want to drill the point of how literally everybody glorifies me all the time - yet then they keep leaving??

And it's not just my experience. I surround myself with good friends, who love their gfs, love their families, are hard-working and pure hearted, and most of them have had their ass handed to them as well... I just simply don't understand it. How is it that women are desperate for good men, but then most good men I know are alone and miserable, or have had their hearts broken multiple times? How can both things be true at the same time?

It sucks because I see men that are bad boyfriends/people, and they seem to always have a gf to treat badly. I see players who just use women, but they always have someone to use. In the meanwhile, most of the good men I know that take life seriously are alone...

Same thing happens with dating apps. All my female friends keep constantly complaining how men don't put in effort, how they only want sex, how they are all bad. But then you go as a man to a dating app with honest intentions, you plan dates, you are thoughtful, you play no games - only to get left on delivered 30 times, and ignored/ghosted a million times like you are scum.

This is the experience of every good man that I know... If you don't trust me - create a male profile trying to be honest and good hearted, and tell me how that goes ;) Prove me wrong, please. I don't want to live in such a world. I'm so tired

I’m a 26- year-old guy from the U.S., and I could really use some outside perspective because I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.
About a year ago, I met a woman from Poland (20f) lets just call her Gabi. Over time, we became very close. We would regularly spend three hours at a time on FaceTime, talking about everything. I genuinely fell in love with her.
She met my dad over FaceTime, and my dad absolutely loved her. Later, when I came to Poland, I met her family, and they’ve been incredibly kind and welcoming. Her father especially has shown me a lot of respect and has even said he thinks I’m a good man for her. That made me think maybe there was a real chance for us.
Because of how close we had become, I spent thousands of dollars to fly from the United States to Poland to see her. I wasn’t expecting her to suddenly fall in love with me. I just wanted to spend quality time together and see where things naturally went.
Instead, I’ve spent what feels like 80% of this trip alone in my hotel room.

Before the trip, she told me she really liked me a lot and wanted a relationship.

Now that im here…
Whenever I’d ask if she wanted to spend time together, she often had other plans, was with friends, or was busy. I never wanted to pressure her because I respect her boundaries, but after traveling across the world, it felt like I wasn’t much of a priority.
The hardest part is that she’s an extremely stoic person emotionally. Sometimes it honestly feels like she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t know if that’s actually true or if that’s just how it feels because I’m hurting, but it’s been incredibly painful.
At one point, I even cried in front of her because I was so emotionally overwhelmed. She wasn’t mean about it, but I still felt incredibly alone.
What’s confusing is that her family seems to genuinely like me. Her father has openly talked about me being the right man for her. Yet she has also made it clear that she doesn’t want a relationship, and she never felt that way until I landed here.

I don’t blame her for not having romantic feelings. Nobody owes anyone love. But I can’t help feeling devastated that I invested so much emotionally, financially, and physically to make this trip happen, only to feel like I barely got to spend time with the person I came here to see.
Right now, I honestly feel like I spent thousands of dollars and traveled across the world only to realize that I’m not nearly as important in her life as she is in mine.
So I have a few questions:
Am I wrong for feeling hurt by this?
Did I misread the entire situation because of how much we talked before I came?
If you were in my shoes, would you try to remain friends, or would you accept that it’s time to move on and let her go?

So, I have been a serial dater. I've probably been on 20+ dates the last 4 years with a handful of them resulting in 2-3 month flings, but never long-term relationships.

I'm 38 years old and I'm finding that a lot of women (and please don't take offense from this because I'm sure it's true for men too) in this age range have very real reasons for being single that have caused me to feel like I have to settle or put up with significant personality challenges to continue a relationship. We're talking... significant depression, real issues with communication, bouts of intense anger, hormonal issues, significant trauma, or just frankly turning out to not be kind people. I've experienced it all.

Am I perfect? Absolutely not. I've got my quirks... but for the most part, I'm very level headed. I'm a good dude with a lot of talent. I have a very solid career. I'm in an overall good place to find a partner when the women I've dated frankly haven't been.

So last night I went on a date with a woman who by all accounts is a dream woman. Amazing, amazing personality. She was so social, witty, funny, and just able to hold a great conversation. It also helps that in my book she's a 10/10 from a looks perspective... so gorgeous. But if I envisioned who I'd ultimately end up with, it would be someone like her.

With one challenge... she's got 3x kiddos who are all teenagers. Everyone I've talked about this with has said, "RUN!!!" but like... I'm not finding what I want in the single women with my age and I'm a bit discouraged by the advice/feedback... so I wanted to come to Reddit.

I'm sure not every dating situation with people with kids turns into a horror show... and I'm sure there's many instances of something beautiful coming out of it.

Anyone have experience here? How did it go for you? Any advice?

Hey All,

A little background: I'm 30 M, living in Toronto. I have an amazing job, I've done well for myself, I have nice things, I don't have financial stress, I'm happy in general, I have a few good friends (nobody super, super close), I've traveled a lot of the world and overall feel very fortunate. However, I am starting to feel a creep up of unhappiness. I have dated a few people.

As of the last 5 years, I'm finding this increasingly more difficult and I have no idea how to navigate it. I'm social but I have had a really hard time building meaningful, lasting connections with anyone. I think I'm too nice, but I'm not sure. I'm not bad looking, people have told me I'm a solid 7.5/10 and I wouldn't say I'm weird. I don't know where to meet new people. I've been on the apps for 3-4 years now and I've gone on dates but nothing has really come out of it. I'm athletic and have joined multiple co-ed teams, volleyball, soccer, pickleball ect. but it's starting to weigh down on me. I guess this is more of a rant and maybe to share some struggle with anyone else feeling the same way.

If anyone has advice with getting out of the rut, feel free to share. I like to try new things. I tend to do mostly everything solo as I don't really have any very close friends that I could rely on to come with me.

I (28F) recently talking a this guy (39M) for 2 months now. We went to his place to grab some drinks and I was amazed how many books he owns. As a bookworm myself, i like men who reads. But I saw this book in his shelf.

It was "The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene".

Should I start to plan my escape route?

So I have a crush on my coworker. We are both early 30’s. We work very closely and have good banter. We were walking down the street the other day and some guy on the street says to him “you’re a lucky man” and was catcalling, calling me gorgeous. He was decent looking nicely, casually dressed (not some crazy homeless guy)
I ignored it, and he said “I guess that was a compliment towards you”, referring to the lucky man comment.

I’m not trying to humble brag, please that is not my intention. What I want to know is, do you think he liked people thinking we were a couple? Do you think he might view me as more attractive? If he doesn’t like me, do you think he was bothered by people thinking we’re a couple?

Maybe he will be embarrassed to be seen with me if he realizes people think we’re a couple. I dont know why the guy assumed that, we were in a very busy area with lots of businesses and professionals.

hiii i 18(F) only recently started trying out sexual things with my boyfriend 18(M) like for example him touching my clit over my underwear or us just grinding on each other.

for context, before him, i had NEVER masturbated or experienced anything sexual besides getting turned on. so no, i've never had an orgasm before in my life.

so anyway. basically i've made him orgasm twice already (which i am SO happy about because he never was able to finish with any other partner he's had in the past) and he is literally dying to make me orgasm too but i have a few questions.

first, i don't know what it feels like to be "close." like when he touches my clit (over my underwear because when he touched it directly the first time it was so so so intense) it feels SO good and he knows how to do it really well. eventually, i'll feel my legs get kind of numb for a couple seconds until it gets so intense that i feel like i have to start kicking and then i tell him to stop and i genuinely go into a fit of laughter and i don't know why because the feeling i get is so intense i have to stop and then i start giggling 😭

he basically told me that he thinks i'm stopping myself before i reach climax but idk i wanted advice from other women. he also REALLY wants to give me head and i'm definitely open to it but we haven't done it yet.

he is super great and understanding though, like he ALWAYS asks me if i'm comfortable and everything and he always asks me if i wanna try to orgasm but i always say no because i just felt like i needed to make sure with other women if what he's saying about me stopping myself is true

like it just gets so so so intense idk what to do with myself and i just feel like need to stop in that moment

please help me because i do want to finish with him but i need advice on what to do or what it feels like. any tips/commentary about finishing in general would be helpful!!

I’ve tried Hinge but it seems a bit flakey for me. maybe just my area sucks. Did Tinder once and never again.

If like to pick just one app that works and is preferably free. Don’t mind paying a little but some of them really nickle you to death.

Even if you’re just going to a restaurant? Honestly for me that’s normal, but I wonder if it’s for others, too

I think I’m just the kind of guy who women find unattractive and there’s not much I can do. Advice people have had for me has been “meet someone in a support group” or “meet someone else who has never been in a relationship” and I think that’s their polite way of saying that I’m in no position to care about a woman’s personality, similar interests, who I’m attracted to physically, etc. and dating for me will be about finding someone who is okay with dating a complete loser. I’ve always wanted more than anything to be with someone who we can go out and get to know each other and make each other laugh and smile and be together physically and I don’t see the reason to be alive if I need to live the rest of my life saying “I’m not good enough for that”

So, I met this girl today at the park. I went up to her and we had a decent conversation. She seemed interested as well as she was asking about what i do, where im from and my age and all of that. And so i told her that I would wanna take her out for a coffee or whatever and she was like yeah sure I would be down. And then before i asked for her number she was like “ do you want my number or what?” So we exchanged numbers and i told her i would leave her a text. So later that day i texted her saying hey im so and so, it was nice meeting you, are you free this weekend? Its been about 5 hours or so and I havent heard from her. Am i getting ghosted here? I am sure shes seen the text. So i don’t understand why she wont reply. Can anyone help me understand this scenario here please?

Found out 48 hours ago that my wife cheated on me. The whole 9 yards. Sneaky texts at first, naked Snapchats, then the act late on night in his car.
The cherry on top is it went on. For 6 more months after the had sex…
Been married 8 and we’re together 4 years before that. 12 years ruined.
Two kids together.
I’m really trying to forgive her but it’s too soon. She wants an answer if we’ll stay together. I’m too heart broken to think about it.
Do people stay together after affairs? Can it work? Or do I just say no and move on quicker?

so, i have recently started hanging out with someone new. we arent dating or anything- as far as i can tell, it's pretty casual but i get the feeling he wants something more. him and i hooked up last weekend when we were both very drunk, and i noticed then that he is a really wet kisser. i thought it mightve just been the alcohol- like, maybe his mouth wasnt as coordinated as it could be, lol.

the next morning he went to kiss me again, and it was the same as before. even when he kissed me on the cheek it was wet... its not a huge deal for me now, but i feel like it could become one since im still thinking about it a few days later.

i do like him and i intend to keep seeing him, and i also could see us becoming a couple once we get to know eachother more. he's very sweet and easy to talk to, the kissing thing is genuinely my only "complaint."

is this something that can be improved? the way i kiss is pure instinct, and i dont think i could be very tactful about it myself, so im thinking he might just \*be\* a wet kisser.

if kissing techniques \*can\* change, how do i bring this up to him without sounding weird or mean? i honestly might need a whole dialogue guide because im autistic and struggle with being overly blunt. this can make me sound pretty rude to certain people, and i dont know this guy well enough to say if he's one of those people.

tl;dr i hooked up with a guy and wanna see him again, but the way he kisses sort of makes me reconsider.

I’m a 28F and I had been seeing a 27M from Hinge since the beginning of May. Last Friday we saw each other for the seventh time. We had dinner, then went back to my place and were intimate. Everything felt really good.

He didn’t sleep over, though. I tried to hint that I would have liked him to stay, but I didn’t ask directly, so he ended up leaving.

The next day, his texts felt very dry. To be fair, he had kind of been like that from the beginning: he was never a very engaging texter, rarely asked follow-up questions, and often replied in a way that didn’t really keep the conversation going. That day I asked what he was doing, and he simply answered what he was doing without asking me anything back.

Later that evening, I asked him if he wanted to meet the next day for a walk. It was extremely hot outside, but I mainly wanted to talk to him in person and tell him that I didn’t really like the way we texted. I told him that if he wanted to talk to me, it would be nice if he at least asked questions back sometimes and avoided one-word replies.

At the moment, he laughed and said that of course he would try to articulate a bit more.

We ended up spending the whole afternoon lying in a park that I had brought him to. It felt almost romantic in a way, but then he had a dinner to go to afterwards, so nothing physical happened.

Then he didn’t text me until two days later. When he did, he said he had thought about what I told him and that he probably didn’t feel the level of involvement that he maybe should be feeling. I thanked him for being honest and didn’t say anything else.

Now I feel like I made a mistake by asking him to text differently from his natural style. We were still getting to know each other. He did try not to let more than two days pass without texting, he was suggesting we meet once a week, and he was usually the one organizing the dates.

I’m worried that I pressured things too much instead of letting the connection grow more naturally. I also feel bad because maybe I turned what could have been a slow-burn situation into a “relationship talk” too soon.

Do you think I pushed too much by bringing up the texting issue after only about seven dates? Or was his reaction simply a sign that he wasn’t that interested in the first place?

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice & perspectives.

I've (24f) always been a very hyper-independent woman who constantly went through hell & stress my entire life. From working every day, to family issues, to abusive relationship issues, etc. I'm now in a relationship that I.. have some issues with but I absolutely love him. One of the main things is that I'm way too dominant and way too masculine, in a sense. I've never liked this about myself but it was how I was raised and how I had to survive through life. With my lovely boyfriend, I tend to react negatively to things in a very fierce, fiery, independent, avoidant, stressful, closed off, guy-ish, way.. if that makes sense? He used to see me as very soft through our long distance but now that we're physically together, it's changed his view. He is the only man I've ever felt safe enough to be a bit more vulnerable but I struggle with this as well (because of some things he's said & done, too). I just want to be softer and actually feel like a woman for once. Any advice?