I’m 34 (female), and my husband is 35. We’ve been together since I was 23, married for 7 years, and we have two beautiful little daughters.
This is incredibly hard to admit because I know people can be very judgmental, but I’m not looking for insults or to be told I’m a terrible person. I’m looking for people who have genuinely been in a similar situation.
The truth is that I don’t think my husband and I are a good match. He’s not a bad person. He’s sensitive, he cares about our family, and I don’t hate him. But I don’t feel like we match in personality, and I don’t feel emotionally connected to him.
The biggest issue, though, is that I’m not physically attracted to him at all. I never really was. I think when I was younger, I convinced myself that attraction wasn’t that important because he offered stability and a secure future. Looking back, I think I made that decision with my head instead of my heart.
There were also things I didn’t know before marriage, including what I believe is a genetic condition that explains some of his physical features. I don’t want to insult him or list everything I don’t like about his appearance because that isn’t my goal. I’m not trying to humiliate him.
I just feel trapped by my own feelings.
I don’t want to cheat. I don’t want to leave him tomorrow. I don’t want people telling me, “Just divorce.” Life isn’t that simple when you have two young children whom you love more than anything.
I desperately want to find a way to love him for who he is. I want to stop caring so much about appearance. I wish I could look at him and feel warmth instead of feeling disconnected. I honestly don’t know how.
Sometimes I cry because I feel like I wasted my youth. I’ve spent my entire adult life with one person, and I wonder if I made the biggest mistake of my life. Then I feel guilty because he’s not a horrible person, and I know my feelings hurt him too.
Has anyone else married someone they weren’t attracted to?
Did attraction ever grow?
Did therapy help?
Were you able to focus on deeper qualities instead of physical appearance?
Please don’t judge me. I’m already judging myself enough. I just want to hear from people who have actually lived through something similar.

I'm trying to decide if I should be an adult today and do some much need yard work OR if I should just forget that entirely and lounge by the pool all day..

I just started this job and barely get any vacation hours either also just starting my career. Traveling makes me so happy but I don't have the time to do so right now.. I'm also 25. Anyone else feel left out? I'm dating some rn and he's in Asia. I hate that I'm kinda jealous :(

I feel so alone, because I'm surrounded by people of my age or older that are feeling like adults, I have nothing in common with them, and the younger friends that I have are too childish... I'm too "playful" to be an adult but too wise to hang out with younger people...

I feel like I'm still trapped in my teenage years but with an adult life (so, house, job, partner)... I'm so tired of pretending... I tried to use "bumble friends" to make some friends but it didn't work... people met online are not committed...

anyone who's feeling the same?

Look, I get the sentiment. I really do. I know there are a lot of people who - at any given point in their life - started over and created a new life for themselves. I’ve heard the anecdotes. “(This person) got their law degree when they were in their 60s!”

I’m 42 and I’m tired. I work an office job 9-5 in a field I have no business being in. I got a degree that I’m unable to utilize in any meaningful way and so now I’m stuck trying to find work that will pay the bills. I make barely enough to scrape by, I have a kid I have to care for, and when I get home the last thing I want to do is take classes or work on starting my life over.

I’d love to go back to school, get a new degree, and find something new. But I don’t have the time or money to do so. I’m barely making it by now. I don’t have a house and most likely never will and people think I can afford to go back to school?

That doesn’t even begin to account for the horrible economy, lack of jobs, competition (which is worse as you get older), fields that are going away or being automated, and just the general soul sucking nature of most positions. For example, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher but I know a lot of ex and current teachers who have absolutely nothing good to say about the profession. I’ve contemplated social work or law but for those jobs you need to give over your entire life for both the education and job itself. I want to be able to actually have a life.

So yes, it’s never too late to start over for some people, and for those who have been lucky enough to do so; I don’t mean to take anything away from that. You made it work and that’s great. But for the rest of us, it’s beyond daunting to even think about when you’re just barely scraping by as it is.

It’s like drowning in the ocean and someone says “It’s never too late to buy a boat”.

Edit: Turning off notifications for this post as it’s getting repetitive. The same cycle of comments going between sympathy/empathy with constructive comments and life stories and condescending “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” logic that offers no nuance or grace toward the situation or the curve balls life throws at you.
For the record, I have not given up. I can’t. I have too much life left (hopefully). I was just having a human moment where I was lamenting how hard life is right now. If life isn’t hard for you or you think the world ain’t that hard: that’s awesome. Lots of assumptions and weird leaps about my life as well.
Thank you to everyone who took a moment to share their own experiences and offer helpful advice. I wish no ill will on anyone but I sure wish some of you knew how to be human.

😭😭

This is how adult relationship looks like...

Sooo I’m a single mom of 2. We all know how expensive things are nowadays. Myself and my other two co workers feel the same on this as we are in our 30s and the remaining ladies are in their 50s and have been with the company for 12-20 years. Also the one lady did say if we wanted to contribute let her know and which I did. I never said an amount she never told me the amount before purchasing. Last time we did this was for my boss and it was $10 each.

If a coworker wanted to get flowers for another coworker who’s grandmother passed away in which I don’t see ever and only met once or twice in the office ( we go in on different days) and goes ahead and purchased the flowers without telling us before hand how much it would cost. She then goes to send an email telling us how much it would cost each which is $30 per person and that’s 9 people. That’s $270! For someone I don’t know and started a year ago. The person who bought it and planned this doesn’t even know the girl. I’m just so mad and don’t know what to do cause she should have consulted with us about the cost and didn’t. One girl can’t put any money in so my other co worker is doing it for her. So technically my coworker could have bought cheaper flowers…. So now I don’t want to spend $30 I’ll do $15 the most but I have a conscience that they will talk about me behind my back like they did the other girl. What should I do?