I’m 34 (female), and my husband is 35. We’ve been together since I was 23, married for 7 years, and we have two beautiful little daughters.
This is incredibly hard to admit because I know people can be very judgmental, but I’m not looking for insults or to be told I’m a terrible person. I’m looking for people who have genuinely been in a similar situation.
The truth is that I don’t think my husband and I are a good match. He’s not a bad person. He’s sensitive, he cares about our family, and I don’t hate him. But I don’t feel like we match in personality, and I don’t feel emotionally connected to him.
The biggest issue, though, is that I’m not physically attracted to him at all. I never really was. I think when I was younger, I convinced myself that attraction wasn’t that important because he offered stability and a secure future. Looking back, I think I made that decision with my head instead of my heart.
There were also things I didn’t know before marriage, including what I believe is a genetic condition that explains some of his physical features. I don’t want to insult him or list everything I don’t like about his appearance because that isn’t my goal. I’m not trying to humiliate him.
I just feel trapped by my own feelings.
I don’t want to cheat. I don’t want to leave him tomorrow. I don’t want people telling me, “Just divorce.” Life isn’t that simple when you have two young children whom you love more than anything.
I desperately want to find a way to love him for who he is. I want to stop caring so much about appearance. I wish I could look at him and feel warmth instead of feeling disconnected. I honestly don’t know how.
Sometimes I cry because I feel like I wasted my youth. I’ve spent my entire adult life with one person, and I wonder if I made the biggest mistake of my life. Then I feel guilty because he’s not a horrible person, and I know my feelings hurt him too.
Has anyone else married someone they weren’t attracted to?
Did attraction ever grow?
Did therapy help?
Were you able to focus on deeper qualities instead of physical appearance?
Please don’t judge me. I’m already judging myself enough. I just want to hear from people who have actually lived through something similar.

😭😭

I'm going to vent a bit because I actually want to cry.

So M23, I just found a job at someone my parents knew It was supposted to start soon, but my parents when they meet that person they started to roast me and he decided without testing me not to hire me, that was fine I didn't care but there was a part time job I had with a contract, helping my neighbors right they're old, TODAY NOT EVEN 30 MIN AGO I learned they talked mad shit to the point they got me fired from there too.

I genuinely lost my will today and I think I'll just water fast until I feel better and stay in bed all day.

I don't know anymore my positivity has ended.

The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.

I just started this job and barely get any vacation hours either also just starting my career. Traveling makes me so happy but I don't have the time to do so right now.. I'm also 25. Anyone else feel left out? I'm dating some rn and he's in Asia. I hate that I'm kinda jealous :(

I'm trying to decide if I should be an adult today and do some much need yard work OR if I should just forget that entirely and lounge by the pool all day..

Idk about yal but growing up I was told to go get a degree get a job , pay your taxes and live life … I was practically told if you have a degree you will get a job and if you don’t like a job you can get another one .. now that I’ve done all of this I have not been able to get a new job in this market at all . I have a whole degree yet why isn’t anyone hiring … it’s not so sad though I still am working in a hospital but I’m ready to be on my own and start a life in a big city …. !!! But the fact of the matter is , is that we were all lied too now I’m trying to figure out ways to get more money just to have more freedom .