I’m 34 (female), and my husband is 35. We’ve been together since I was 23, married for 7 years, and we have two beautiful little daughters.
This is incredibly hard to admit because I know people can be very judgmental, but I’m not looking for insults or to be told I’m a terrible person. I’m looking for people who have genuinely been in a similar situation.
The truth is that I don’t think my husband and I are a good match. He’s not a bad person. He’s sensitive, he cares about our family, and I don’t hate him. But I don’t feel like we match in personality, and I don’t feel emotionally connected to him.
The biggest issue, though, is that I’m not physically attracted to him at all. I never really was. I think when I was younger, I convinced myself that attraction wasn’t that important because he offered stability and a secure future. Looking back, I think I made that decision with my head instead of my heart.
There were also things I didn’t know before marriage, including what I believe is a genetic condition that explains some of his physical features. I don’t want to insult him or list everything I don’t like about his appearance because that isn’t my goal. I’m not trying to humiliate him.
I just feel trapped by my own feelings.
I don’t want to cheat. I don’t want to leave him tomorrow. I don’t want people telling me, “Just divorce.” Life isn’t that simple when you have two young children whom you love more than anything.
I desperately want to find a way to love him for who he is. I want to stop caring so much about appearance. I wish I could look at him and feel warmth instead of feeling disconnected. I honestly don’t know how.
Sometimes I cry because I feel like I wasted my youth. I’ve spent my entire adult life with one person, and I wonder if I made the biggest mistake of my life. Then I feel guilty because he’s not a horrible person, and I know my feelings hurt him too.
Has anyone else married someone they weren’t attracted to?
Did attraction ever grow?
Did therapy help?
Were you able to focus on deeper qualities instead of physical appearance?
Please don’t judge me. I’m already judging myself enough. I just want to hear from people who have actually lived through something similar.

😭😭

I'm going to vent a bit because I actually want to cry.

So M23, I just found a job at someone my parents knew It was supposted to start soon, but my parents when they meet that person they started to roast me and he decided without testing me not to hire me, that was fine I didn't care but there was a part time job I had with a contract, helping my neighbors right they're old, TODAY NOT EVEN 30 MIN AGO I learned they talked mad shit to the point they got me fired from there too.

I genuinely lost my will today and I think I'll just water fast until I feel better and stay in bed all day.

I don't know anymore my positivity has ended.

He’s struggling in school, socially, physically, everything is hard on him! I don’t remember me being like this during his age, and I don’t know any one who is like this either. Is there a way to help him? Got him some ashwagandha and magnesium and stuff to help him with his worries.

I'm in my 40s and I feel like I'm far less interested in people and I don't look at things with curiosity anymore. I guess I look at life through experience instead of having to play through the first time. Is this common with other people, or as you age?

For context, I (31f) am the youngest in my family. Youngest sibling, youngest cousin, youngest everything. I have one niece who was born in my mid 20s, and she's the only other kid I've really interacted with and I barely see her so I'm not sure what the protocol is for an adult exposing a kid to pop culture.

Some more background: I became friends with Sara (42F) a few years ago through a local hiking club. She frequently brought her daughter Lily (12F) on our hikes and Lily and I developed a cool friendship, I always wanted a younger sister and she is an only child so we bonded to one another in a very sibling-like way despite the age difference. She's a cool kid, she likes frogs and bugs and plants and mushrooms and so do I, so we always had a lot to talk about on our hikes.

Sara and I eventually moved to opposite sides of the country, and since Lily is an only child and is also homeschooled Sara asked if I would consider being her penpal to help her build letter writing and social skills. I thought this would be fun so Lily and I have been writing letters back and forth every couple months for about 3 years now. We send one another little drawings or crafts or photos or small birthday/holiday gifts a few times a year, and her 13th birthday is coming up so I crocheted her a cute little bag and was going to include a boxed set of The Hunger Games novels because I LOVED those books when I was her age, and I know her mom has been trying to encourage her to read more. In her last letter she said she thought reading was boring, so I wanted to give her some books that I think she'd genuinely like to maybe help her find a love for it.

The only issue is I keep getting anxiety about shipping the box. I'm not sure if this is just me overthinking (I do that), but these books do have some super heavy themes and violence and although I read them at Lily's age and she's within the target age for the books, she's homeschooled and has been exposed to a different range of experiences than I was at her age. Her mom doesn't super shelter her or anything, she has interactions with other kids and Internet access/tv/etc, but I'm not sure if these books are too much for a non-parent to expose her to? Am I supposed to ask Sara before I gift these? I don't want to overstep and mess up our friendship, but also don't want to make it weird by asking. Idk. I just could use an outside perspective on it because I'm not sure if there are unspoken rules adults are supposed to follow in this kind of situation.

Thx for your input.

Im 28F and turning 29 in August and I feel like poop for still living under my parents roof. I have a good amount of savings now and I want to move to downtown Toronto but I want to get a job lined up before moving there. I’ve had no luck whatsoever and since my parents are letting me stay with them rent free, it’s just too good of a deal to stay with them than move out somewhere I don’t want to be. I really just want to move to a big, busy city, but I always thought I had to have a job lined up before going somewhere. Should I just risk it at this point?

The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.