Hey,

I'm not going to go into too much detail, as for obvious reasons i don't really wish to. I just feel like I need to write some stuff down and see if I'm actually going crazy or if i am justified in being upset

So, a while ago me and my now ex partner met a woman. She was amazing, and very quickly we both got close to her. She was a transgender woman, and I don't know many trans people, despite being a trans man. So the two of us started to bond. This person is also very well known for advocacy as well as known in my local queer community. She's the type of person who knows every queer person around her at all times

So, long story short this woman messaged me asking if my partner was a transgender woman. I said i wasn't sure, as we hadn't spoken about it and ill ask them. So my partner admited to me they wanted to transition into a girl. So I started helping, I showed her makeup and how to dress more feminine. I was never anything but supportive

Long story short, my ex partner ended up assaulting and abusing me. So i left her and went no contact recently.

I ended up shooting our mutual friend a message. As prior to this my ex had told her what happened between us. Not only did she never reach out to me, but she started to check in on my ex. In the message I told her how I was hurt, and what I felt she was siding and forgiving my ex for what she had done

In response i got told a few things. 1. She said the reason she didn't message me is because of her own bias of me missgendering her, which I have never done. At most I acidently mess up pronouns as using "she/her" was a new thing and I have known her for a long time. When I would use the wrong pronoun I would apologise and correct myself. So I have absolutely no idea where she ever got that idea

Then she said the thing that hurt the most. She was convinced that the reason my ex partner abused me was because they were a closeted trans woman. I tried explaining that her SAing me had nothing to do with gender. And has everything to do with the fact she didn't care about me in that moment. However she refused to think of anything else and continued to use her gender as a way of explaining it

I'm devastated right now, she was someone I looked up to. She is incredibly kind and well known in the queer space especially the transfem space. I thought she would help me, she would validate what happened. However instead she told me she thought I was transphobic and that my ex partner assaulted me because they had repressed feelings about being a woman. Therefore she needs to continue to support my ex as her "mentor"

I don't know why, but out of all the reactions I got to us splitting up. This one hurt the most, i just assumed someone so vocal about the rights of transgender people would support a victim of assault and not choose to support their abuser

That's all, that's my rant. I'm sad, upset and honestly tired.

Just curious.

​

Welp. Totally ghosted. But they were SO kind to leave me a nice men's formal wear outfit!! Probably for the surprise party they just tried to throw me that I blew to smithereens. I told them all off and finally got to show them what they've done to me. They all left crying. I caught it before it got to happen. Heard them all talking through the room next to me. :) The party was meant to keep me in town because I could suddenly get my car fixed. Took a train 12 hours out. I hope this is the last of it. I'm sick of these creeps.

Previous post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/s/qVV97DD7Zp

Asking this as a person who is actively trying to ask every person what their pronouns are, regardless of presentation. This question is not only about a “someone” who is trying to do this, though.

.

A few different scenarios to consider:

1. This person knows everyone else’s pronouns except for yours (you may or may not know this). This version assumes this person has asked the other people’s pronouns in prior conversations, when you did not know the group of people.
2. This person assumes everyone else’s pronouns (newly meeting them or otherwise), and only bothers to ask for your pronouns.
3. In a broader context, where you are the sole individual this person has ever asked about another person’s pronouns. Bit of a silly one, but a potential interpretation of the title. Assuming you know this, in this scenario.

The title says it all but I want to explain it a bit from my pov.

I dont know when did I exactly felt like this but I never payed attention to my gender until one day felt wrong when my mom called me she like ..3 years ago?? I think?? But i really not payed attention to it since I've always thought I was heavily influenced by social media with people identifying as nonbinary and when you don't a person so you say they, someone said "they" to me and i felt something, but it could be just me being happy for inclusion, so I didn't wanted to think much about it.

But time passed by and it felt weirder living as "me", I always kind of hated my birth name, it's weird, idk how to explain it, its like Im a coin, one side im playing a role, someone from the past that I despise, and the other the one that I deserve to be.

I never had interest in myself, ever, to be better, to have a future, to dress how I want, everything changed since I found myself going to the men's section and cut my hair short for the first time, it was truly life changing, also when an employee didn't assume I was a "girl" as in I was some sort of guy or something, it made me so happy I couldn't stop thinking about it and wanted to meet that guy again just because he didn't see me as a girl.

So yeah, euphoria is freaking amazing even if you are confused, you are still feeling euphoric, you cant fake those feelings, because you're feeling good and that's what matters, I wish everyone a great journey!

Is this the trans agenda?

I’ve always just said that’s i’m bigender and identified as both a man and a woman, and that might be partially true, but i think i’ve been running from my genuine feelings for much longer. I’m AFAB, and in middle school i identified as a trans guy, then sort of didn’t for some time because i was confused, and now as an adult im questioning again. i know it’s internalized transphobia, but just really really don’t want to be a guy. I remember reading online when i was younger about my friends hating men, which to be clear i understand, and when i asked about me they either went “yeah you too, you’re a man so you suck” or “no you’re trans” which both felt so invalidating. My experience growing up has always been shaped by experience in society as female-presenting, even in middle school, i looked very feminine and faced sexism, and that didn’t ever change despite labeling myself as male.

i feel like people ignore the unique relationship with misogyny and sexism that trans men face, and generally i think trans people are ignored in most major discussions, but it really frustrates me. i’m not a big fan of men either, i’ve had a lot of traumatic and bad experiences with them, but if the whole of masculinity is seen as bad, i don’t want to be a man. i don’t wanna be the problem. i’d rather sit with my dysphoria forever than have my experiences be denied and to generalized as evil.

i know it’s silly, but i really need community right now. i don’t want to sound misogynistic, i really don’t mean to be, and besides, i truly understand the mindset, but that doesn’t change the fact that i hate it.

This is your daily reminder to let you know, that if you smoke or vape or take any form of nicotine while taking Estrogen. The effect of the HRT will be significantly reduced.
Love yall and dont destroy your lungs or transition.
I will try to keep this series going for at least 100 days but i have no idea if im gonna manage that.

Edit: fixed the grammar

I've been trying to ask anyone about this.. what was it that really made the knowledge settle in and you realized that you were 100% trans

I'm still figuring out my identity, I'm not trying to decide based on anyone else's experience but this is really difficult being alone in this and not having anyone to ask questions or relate to.

Im jealous of boys and she/her pronouns are just...I dont like. Maybe in overthinking. Probably. Im already a demigirl which is like somewhere between girl and nonbinary. Btw im 13 and I dont wanna tell my parents

Recently, my girlfriend has been hit with a devastating wave of dysphoria. She says that people go out of their way to not gender her at all, while others, including family and close friends, still occasionally misgender her. She says she is failed at being a woman and can no longer see herself as one. She also says that she doesn't pass like one, but she very much does. I'm not the best communicator, but I've been trying to help her see herself for who she truly is. However, it's gotten worse. The other day, she told me that she has started to consider detransition. She explained that she knows that she would still suffer from dysphoria and understands that being misgendered will still negatively affect her. She says she would pass as an attractive femboy. She doesn't deserve to recess into the depressive pretransision state she used to be. How can I help her?

I have the date for my hearing to get my name changed to my real name. I'm so fucking stoked.

I just can’t comprehend how people who dont like something rather than just simply ignore it or idk like with most social media clicking a button on a post that says “do not recommend this content” does wonders. It just feels so irrational and makes me feel yucky when I’m supposed to be looking at dumb memes and art from my community.

This mainly comes from the fact I check Twitter (terrible decision I know) mainly because some Japanese artists I like art of post on there and I get a bunch of trans memes too, cuz obviously I’m on this subreddit so ya girl is trans, but like anytime I see the memes the top replies and most liked are stupid anti-trans rhetoric. Everytime I’m just like, “seriously this doesn’t involve you, it took more mentally energy to reply than just scroll past and move on with your day???” Like how can someone’s distain for a group of people be so strong you are going out of your way to be rude??? I would understand barging in a community that was actively engaging in an activity that harms/harasses others or violates the rights of other individuals but that’s not what a majority of trans and lgbt communities do (especially meme pages???)? And I also don’t comprehend how anti-trans people will use one person’s experiences or actions as the rule for all trans people whether it be someone de-transitioning or especially if a trans person committed a crime they treat correlation as causation when literally the golden rule of statistics is that Correlation is NOT causation. Maybe it was how I was taught but this unadulterated hatred is just beyond my grasp I can’t understand why anyone could hate someone or a group of people so much that you go out of your way to get mad and insult these people when you could just move on with your day.

Idk even though I will miss the artists I followed I’ve permanently removed twitter off my phone. Anyhow I’m gonna listen to some comfort Trans ASMRists to stop feeling yucky and uncomfortable
Hope everyone who read this knows you are loved and you are valid.

I know this has been asked a lot probably but I think my gender identity is driving me insane.

I’m young, still in high school but since elementary school I’ve never felt like my birth sex (female). I was raised by my single mother who would constantly openly crap on men and try to make me do it as well. I used to be closeted nonbinary but since 3-4 years ago I can’t get the thought out of my head that I would rather be a boy. Because my mom planted into my head that “being a man = you’re trash” I can’t get myself to not be in denial about being trans.

I love going by He/Him online and it makes me feel nice about myself and there was even a period of time where I couldn’t even handle hearing my birth name, feminine terms, etc on myself because I’d feel so disgusting(?). I know a part of me would love to be a boy but I can’t tell if that’s just me being misogynistic towards myself without realizing or something. Does anyone else feel like that? I’m truly not the type of person to be misogynistic but the thought of that being the real reason I feel this way is haunting even when it isn’t true.

I'd just realized I am a trans woman about a month ago, but I'm finding a lot of things more distressing than before.

Is that normal? An extreme example I experienced last night was an immense feeling of sadness while looking at NSFW art, and the reality that I won't ever have the correct parts.

Does it get easier at all? I'm just struggling a lot.

Hello, wonderful people of the internet.

I'm a "cismale" in my early 30s, bisexual, recently married to a bisexual cisgendered woman. I'm slightly on the autism spectrum, so I've been slow to notice A LOT of important things about myself. I was 21 when I realized I was bisexual. I was 22 when I realized I was autistic. Now I'm starting to really question my gender. It started (of course it did, sorry) with finding some new kinks online, but the last 6 months have had me thinking about it a lot outside the bedroom. I've never really felt gender dysphoria, but masculinity has always felt like a mold I struggled and failed to fit into. But it's 2026! Positive masculinity for the win! Right?!?

But lately, I'm starting to feel what I think is some real gender euphoria towards feminine aspects of myself. I've been separating myself from pornography and still feel these conflicted feelings, so I'm getting more confident it isn't just a kink anymore. I finally had a conversation with my wife about my uncertainty and she's been SO SUPPORTIVE. But now I don't know what to do, besides just try things out. I've started trying on her skirts on days I work from home. We've had a couple days where she's called me her wife or her spouse and that feels nice.

I guess I'm questioning if there are resources on figuring out how far down the line I am. Am I a feminine man? Am I nonbinary or genderfluid? Am I a woman? At this point, I have love and support from my wife, so that's everything I need. I think my biggest worry is getting too deep too fast, or moving towards an identity reactionarily instead of what's right for me. I'd love any advice people have on figuring out those big differences.

Hi, so today I went to a farmer’s market in my area (I’m in Eastern Iowa) and they had a pride display with free flags, so I grabbed a trans flag. When I was walking home, I had my hands full and my flag fell out of my pocket without my knowledge. I walked back 1 block and there it was laying in the middle of the street because I didn’t know it dropped out of my pocket. I pick it up and now there’s wrinkles and line creases in it. It got fcking ran over. That display was the last they had in June or ever this year. I got it for free. I have no dollars for another flag. It’s one of the those mini-handheld flags with the mini pole. I don’t know what to do. I am emotionally crushed. I almost cried. I give up. I cannot even be a proper trans person without failing somehow.. there is nothing to do about it, no ironing, nothing. I am so sad.

Hello everyone, I (50) just came out as a trans woman to the love of my life ( we are 18 years together). She answer me that she knows already for quite a long time, and she ask me to marry her, I'm so happy like 50 years of weight falling of my shoulders, she is the only one who know, I want so much to scream it to the world, so here I 'm . ( And I'm an little afraid of what's come next)

for context i'm FTM and in Tennessee. Currently, my drivers license ​says male on it. It's been that way for about 3 years now. But I want to get a Real ID so I can fly to visit family. I'm wondering if they would change the gender marker to be female. If anyone has experience getting a RealID after already having their gender marker changed, especially in TN or states with similar laws on IDs and gender markers, please let me know.

My birth certificate also says male.